Sorrow

In the secret place,
we keep hidden
those things dark
and unkempt,
those bits of madness
that uncoil and claw
in the deep of the night,
the midnight of dreams,
the beast, black of heart,
blank of soul,
born of the unpurged,
burning sorrow
fueled by the private
anguish in which we burn.

I Miss Opus

I do...I really, really do! Bloom County was one of my all time favorites and I was so sad when it came time to say goodbye! The follow-up, Outland, just wasn't the same and couldn't really fill the space left by Bloom County! Opus was my favorite of the gang, although they all had their charm! Here's a bit of nostalgia while I "Wish for Wings that Work"!

The Hot Button: Conscientious Objection

I realize that I am fortunate to be an American. Given the various types of governments out there and the conditions that many people are forced to live in, I know that living in America is a blessing. But despite the fact that our government may be better than others out there, it is far from perfect.

I am reminded of a political sciene class that I took in college. The professor was very excited about political science and I, well, wasn't. My natural tendancy to be a little "challenging" and his natural tendancy to be a mark was a bad combination. I recall one day in class when he became very frustrated with me and asked "What would you say if I said that you were completely apathetic?" I simply shrugged and said, "I don't care." The look on his face was priceless, but really, he should have seen it coming. About a 1/3 of our grade was based on our final project. He beamed when I turned it in and said, "Now, that doesn't look like the project of someone who is apathetic!" To which I replied, "Nope, it's the project of an anarchist." He really did make it a bit too easy to mess with him. I think that I still have that project, buried in a box in my mother's basement, along with his comments about how "disturbing" my project was and how painful it was to give me an A. I shared it with my advisor who seemed unsurprised and simply wanted to know what I had done to the poor man.

One of the items that served as inspiration for my project was a picture I found in a magazine (maybe Omni...) in which a dark, disfigured puppeteer was master of a beautiful dove. In my "analysis" of the picture, the dark figure became the government and the white dove the American people with the question of who was really in charge and did that for, by and of the people still really hold true? Or has the government really become more interested in self-preservation than serving the people? The Critical Perspective in Sociology holds that all things can be traced to those in power (i.e. the government) and that in the interest of preserving themselves they will create issues and situations that cause the people to become more interested in fighting amongst themselves than paying attention to the what the government is doing.

We can ill afford to become complacent, to simply accept that the government will act in our best interests. We can not have blind faith that they will define what is in our best interests in the same way that we would. I think that our government has committed a significant number of sins that should give us concern and reason to make sure that we keep our eyes on what they do:

1932 The Tuskegee Syphilis Study begins. 200 black men diagnosed with syphilis are never told of their illness, are denied treatment, and instead are used as human guinea pigs in order to follow the progression and symptoms of the disease. They all subsequently die from syphilis, their families never told that they could have been treated.

1942 Chemical Warfare Services begins mustard gas experiments on approximately 4,000 servicemen.

1944 U.S. Navy uses human subjects to test gas masks and clothing. Individuals were locked in a gas chamber and exposed to mustard gas and lewisite.

1965 Prisoners at the Holmesburg State Prison in Philadelphia are subjected to dioxin, the highly toxic chemical component of Agent Orange used in Viet Nam. The men are later studied for development of cancer, which indicates that Agent Orange had been a suspected carcinogen all along.

1996 Department of Defense admits that Desert Storm soldiers were exposed to chemical agents.

For other incidents, please visit: http://www.umedia.com/MediaMike/GovAtrocities.html

For all the things we that we know that our government has done, how many more are there that we don't know about?

I am offended by the notion, that I've heard from time to time, that we owe support and allegiance to our government, seemingly regardless of what that they do. This fails to acknowledge that it is OUR government and they owe their support and allegiance to us. And if they fail, we the people are charged with the right, perhaps the obligation, to make the changes necessary to ensure that the government is operating on our behalf and not its own. When we turn a blind eye, when we refuse to see, we become complicit by virtue of our inaction. And as an American, I am free to right this (although it might put be on some government watch list as a possible dissedent).

To view the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution or other relevant documents, please visit: http://www.archives.gov/national-archives-experience/charters/constitution.html

Who Are You?

So which one of these basic 4 Farside personality types represents you?

The Spring

I am the spring,
the reborn child of
endless promise,
the dawn,
the beginning,
the burning fire
of passion,
free and wild,
the bloom,
the delicate,
unfolding possibility;
upon the wind of
endless days,
a heart unburdened,
unbroken and unbound,
a life untamed of
limitless chance.

Solitude

When I come to this place of quiet,
of blessed solitude,
to the universe I bare my soul,
and carried upon the stars,
I can see forever,
the infinite promise,
the never ending horizon,
all that ever can be;
I come into the calm,
the center of the storm,
dwell in peace,
a silent witness,
to the beauty unfolding
within by being,
that which is me,
seamless with eternity.

The Winter

I am the winter,

the lonely child of

harbored resent,

the unwanted

remains of a

broken life,

the cold ashes

of a life spent,

spread upon

the wind, the

wasted promise

of days slipped by,

drowned in all

the bitter, broken

dreams, of life

lived too quiet.

The Hot Button: Immigration

I admit that when it comes to the subject of immigration, I have some mixed and contradictory feelings and thoughts. I think this comes from the fact that with the exception of one great grandmother (who was a full blooded Cherokee Indian) my ancestors weren't as they say "from around here". They came from a variety of other countries (Scotland, England, Ireland, etc) so to oppose immigration can seem somewhat, well, hypocritical. But here are some of my (sometimes random) thoughts on the subject, in no particular order and not necessarily applicable to every instance of immigration.

1) When my ancestors came to America, there wasn't any concern that they had a backpack with a nuclear devise, chemical weapon or biological agent. The world was a radically different place than it is today. There are concerns & dangers that simply didn't exist back then.
2) They (my ancerstors) didn't come here simply to have a child that would be taken care of by the welfare system. When they came over, there wasn't even a welfare system. At the same time I acknowledge that the parental drive to provide for one's offspring would be a motivating factor in trying to get some place where your child could get an education, food and health care.
3) If you're going to move here, learn ENGLISH. Last time I checked, that is the language that we speak here. I used to work taking inbound customer service calls for a skin care product that was sent to thousands of customers every 60 or 90 days. We only shipped to the US and Canada. So it was infuriating when customers who had been receiving this product automatically for YEARS (meaning that they had lived in America for YEARS) didn't speak English or spoke it extremely poorly and would get angry that we didn't offer customer service agents who spoke Spanish, or Japanese, or Chinese, or (insert language of choice here). They would get extremely pissed off, angry and abusive and trust me on this.....you may not understand the words, but you can tell when you're getting cussed out regardless of the language. I'm reminded of the Tom Selleck movie, Mr. Baseball, where he gets sent to Japan to play. He's been there for a while when he ends up at the Chief's (Manager's) house and discovers that the guy speaks English. When Tom Selleck asks him why he didn't speak English at the field instead of making him use a translator, the Chief points out---this is my country, it is your responsibility to learn my language. And this isn't to say that you should forget how to speak your native language or abandon your heritage, but you chose to move here, so learn the language.
4) If you want to move here, do it legally. And yes, I understand that there aren't enough spots for everyone who wants to come here, but that doesn't mean you should just come on over and make yourself at home. On the other hand, I have sympathy for those who live in oppressive and impoverished condition and can undertstand the desire to try to get someone where you and yours have a chance to live a decent life. But I do worry that there is a limit to the number of people that we can support. What happens to the quality of life when the tipping point is reached? We already have serious issues in this country that go unaddressed because there simply aren't enough resources. At some point, the entire system and economy will collapse under the presssure.
5) Jobs. Some argue that immigrants, particuarly those who are here illegally, are only doing jobs that Americans don't or won't do anyway. I am first to admit that as a general rule, Americans are spoiled, but is it really as simple as that statement implies. Could it not also be argued that illegal immigrants are willing to do the job for less than Americans who have already achieved a higher quality of living and have the related bills, can simple afford to work for. A professor I had talked about how this happened in Hilton Head. Landscaping jobs were primarily the domain of African Americans in Hilton Head until the influx of Mexicans occurred. They were willing to do the jobs for less than the current rate and ended up taking over the landscaping business. Their willingness to live in conditions that we would consider substandard (but are still a huge improvement over where they came from) made it possible for them to undercut the wages and yes, push Americans out of their jobs. Undoubtedly, there are jobs assumed by immigrants by virtue of the fact that no American wants to do.
6) Don't rewrite the National Anthem. And sing it in English. Don't try to sell me that you're changing it out of respect for Americans. Sorry, not buying it.
7) Have you tried changing your country? I realize that this isn't an easy task and in some cases, it might be impossible. Considering dictators like Hussein, the unarmed masses probably don't really have a chance.
8) I hate that people live in conditions that make poverty in American look like a cake walk. I hate that they live under oppressive dictatorships. And I know that given some of these conditions, risking life and limb to get here is probably a good deal. But I think that there has to be a better way.
9) I'm annoyed by those who do come here illegally and then act entitled to treatment as a citizen and act as if Americans who oppose those are in league with the devil. I can't imagine smuggling myself into another country and then demanding rights as if I were a citizen.

I admit that sometimes I feel rather cold when it comes to the subject of illegal immigration. And then at some point, I feel guilty about it. I have been blessed to not have endured the hardships that drive people to take the risks that they do to get here. Ironic that some people would live life and limb to get here to try for a better life while others would give life and limb for a chance to destroy us. Such are the complexities of the world in which we live. I wish I had a solution, but unfortunately, I don't.

Guilty Pleasure 101 THE SOUL PATROL

Season Five is now over and the new "American Idol" is the silver fox of the Soul Patrol--Taylor Hicks! I'm not really sure what the future holds for him and if he'll be one with staying power, but I hope that he does because he really is an entertainer!! GO TAYLOR!!

I Can't Even Draw A Straight Line With a Ruler....

and people can do this with sand!!


http://www.greatervancouverparks.com/HARRISONSandCastles01.html

Fallen

Fallen,
angels on the battlefield,
blood sacrifice on
the abandoned altar,
consume their souls,
and condemn
to a colder hell,
burned on the pyre
of our disgrace,
for our sins,
the price is paid.

Guilty Pleasure 101 Part Four

Well, it is the final "performance" night of this season of American Idol. I will be watching and I will be voting repeatedly for Taylor. The only thing better than voting for Taylor is if they would let me have a number where I could take away votes from Katherine! I know that lots of people out there adore her (and it's not like I want her burned alive at the stake or anything) and think she's oh, so sweet, yadda, yadda, yadda. But the girl needs to get some passion, some fire instead of that "gee, golly, I'm so wide eyed and innocent" persona she totes around. She doesn't seem to enjoy it the same way that Taylor does...doesn't pour herself into it...doesn't make it fun and exciting......you know she needs something other than a CD that would be good to cure insomnia!

Cooking for the Soul

I'm not sure where I got my love of cooking. My mother was a good enough cook, if it was southern. And since she spent her days cooking at an elementary school, she wasn't especially inspired to come home and spend a lot of time in the kitchen experimenting. And she didn't spend time teaching me how to cook either. My sister loves to cook as well, but she moved 3,000 miles away when I was seven so it wasn't her that instilled it in me. But somehow I managed to develop a love of cooking and am apparently good enough to have people "wrangle" invitations to dinner.
There is just something delightful in finding a new recipe to try or coming up with some new creation of my own. A friend from long ago made me swear an oath that I would never tell his Italian mother that my stuffed shells were better than hers. Something pleasing in the myriad of smells (okay--usually pleasing) from a busy kitchen. For me, it can be therapy (and a lot less expensive than a shrink!). It can be a little mad scientist at times and I'm a horribly messy cook, but as long as the results turn out right, who cares? After all, if I cook...someone else can clean!

Here is one of my favorite recipes that a Regional Manager cooked up at our annual manager's meeting (the good one at the Beach House before the company got cheap) with a little variation of my own:

Frogmoor Stew

3 medium/large baking potatoes (peeled and cubed)
16 oz Kielbasa cut into 1/4" to 1/2" pieces
12 oz Andouille cut into 1/4" pieces (this was not part of the original recipe, but I find it a tasty addition.)
8-12 frozen corn on the cob halves
16 oz shrimp (peeled and deveined...perfectly acceptable to cheat and buy the frozen that are already peeled and deveined)
1-2 packets crab boil (2 if you like it spicer)

In a large stock pot, place the crab boil packets along with potatoes and fill about 1/2 full of water. Cover, bring to a boil, then reduce hit and cook until potatoes are 1/2 tender.

Add the kielbase and andouille and cook for 5 minutes at a slow boil

Add the corn and cook for 5 mintues at a slow boil.

Add the shrimp and cook 3-4 minutes or until shrimp are cooked through.

Remove the crab boil and spoon into big bowls and enjoy!!

Whole

Lay open my soul, battered and bruised,

tear open my heart, see me undone;

careless the travelers who visited here,

into pieces, careless disregard,

my tears unheeded, feel me shaking,

sifting through the bits that remain;

a faithless dream, a dark confession,

never again will whole I be.

Pieces

To the very core, my being falls to silence,

a once full soul becomes an empty vessel,

carried on the wind, all that once I was;

I wait, a prisoner in exile, for redemption,

for just a single tender mercy,

for a bit of heaven's grace to fall one me;

in this stillness, I can not breathe,

into a million pieces, I would break apart

and spin forever into the infinite void.

Idiot Alert

Yes, the same man who advocated the assasination of the Venezuelan President is now getting messages from God. Don't get me wrong, I think that God does speak to us, but just not this way. For details on Pat's latest round of lunancy and the chance to cast your vote on the believability of his claims, visit http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12851397/.

Glimpse

In a moment of infinite grace,
heaven draws back the curtain,
allows us this simple glimpse,
reminder of the miracle
in the smallest thing,
overlooked in our haste;
we close our eyes,
refuse to see,
our blessings forgotten,
we dispair,
and the angels mourn
our wasted life.

It's Gonna Take More Than An *

I am not now, nor have I ever been, nor can I ever forsee a time that I would be, a fan of Barry Bonds. He is a disgrace to his team, to the sport of baseball and to his godfather, the great Willie Mays. Maybe someone should tell him that there is a difference between confidence and cockiness, between assured and arrogance, between hubris and humility and between the truth and a lie.
Roger Maris was saddled with an asterisk next to his single season home run record for YEARS based on the fact that the season was longer than when Ruth established the record, but Bonds is asterisk free? Of course, Bonds doesn't deserve the record at all. And his creeping up on the record set by Hank Aaron makes my stomach turn. Aaron played the game with grace and dignity. He faced the rage of racists and death threats in his pursuit of the all time home run record. And he did it without steroids. He EARNED the record based on his merits, on his talent.
Bonds claims that while he may have taken or used certain products he didn't know that they contained any sort of performance enhancers (pause here while I check my drivers license just to make sure that I wasn't born yesterday). Even if I suspended every thinking, reasoning part of myself and was willing to believe that he didn't really know that what he used contained steriods, it doesn't really change the bottom line: all of his records are suspect and should be stripped from him. I love baseball and I hate what Bonds and any other players like him are doing to the once noble, all-American sport.
And as for Russ Springer plunking Bonds rather than giving him the opportunity to hit a home run off of him? Well, if I had that kind of money, I'd gladly pay his fines for him! And given the standing ovation the crowd gave him, they probably could have raised the money last night!

Fell

I fell into the silence,
I fell into the abyss,
and now become this
angry child,
in abandon,
the forgotten,
a soul too bruised,
a body too weary,
hope nothing more
than the now faded,
dying flame of
unused promise,
twisted and tormented,
who will bow their head
and pray for me?

Guilty Pleasure 101 Part Three

Okay--I'm still upset about last weeks departure of Chris! But I guess we have to move on..........my pick is now Taylor. I've always loved Taylor because he isn't the typical cookie cutter American Idol and because he's so much fun to watch, because he's having a good time. And I managed to get through once on his three phone numbers. But if it can't be Taylor, please, please, please don't let it be Katherine!

Surrender

In the empty, hollow places,

I hear the echo of my haunted soul;

perched upon the edge,

I am swallowed by the darkness,

unraveled, drowning in the madness;

shivering in the abandon,

the wasteland that was once me,

the broken pieces scattered upon the wind;

wrapped in the sorrows,

the ever suffocating silence

of endless surrender.

Know Thyself??

I have a weakness for online tests--personality tests, IQ, all the stuff on Blogthings! For the most part, they are good, mindless fun and an easy way to temporarily distract yourself from whatever ails you. I mean doesn't every one want to know what flavor jelly bean they are (margarita...a certain "je ne sais quoi"), What crappy Christmas gift you are (a self-help book) or What animal were you in a past life (Jaguar..understanding the patterns of chaos). But some of them, at least on the surface, seem more serious than others. For example, the free personality test at www.oneishy.com. I have taken it twice, a couple of weeks apart, just to see if the results would come out the same. And apparently, your results somewhat rely on your state of mind at the time that you take the test. The first go round I was primarily Melancholy followed by Choleric (don't I just sound like a blast at parties). The second go round I was primarily Melancholy followed by Phlegmatic (oooh....yep, a real blast). Since Melancholy came up as the dominant personality trait both times, I thought I'd see what it had to say about it.

Emotional Strengths

Deep and thoughtfully
Analytical
Serious and purposeful
Genius prone
Talented and creative (I'd sure like to think so!)
Artistic or musical (They've never heard me sing!)
Philosophical and poetic
Appreciative of beauty
Sensitive to others
Self-sacrificing (To a point, yes, but this can turn into a weakness)
Conscientious
Idealistic

The Melancholy at Work

Schedule oriented
Perfectionist, high standards (If you have the time to do it over, you have the time to do it right to begin with)
Detail conscious
Persistent and thorough
Orderly and organized (They haven't seen my desk!)
Neat and tidy
Economical
Sees the problems
Finds creative solutions
Needs to finish what he starts (he?? where's the she in this?)
Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists

The Melancholy Parent

Sets high standards
Wants everything done right
Keeps home in good order
Picks up after children
Sacrifices own will for others
Encourages scholarship and talent

The Melancholy as a Friend

Makes friends cautiously (Absolutely. I'd rather have a few, close friends than tons of acquaitances)
Content to stay in background
Avoids causing attention
Faithful and devoted
Will listen to complaints
Can solve other's problems (easier than solving my own)
Deep concern for other people
Moved to tears with compassion (many, many times)
Seeks ideal mate

The Emotional Weaknesses

Remembers the negatives (You mean like the chick in second grade who stole my pencils)
Moody and depressed
Enjoys being hurt (Uh...no.)
Has false humility
Off in another world (doesn't this go with genius and creative)
Low self-image
Has selective hearing
Self-centered
Too introspective
Guilt feelings
Persecution complex
Tends to hypochondria

Work Weaknesses

Not people oriented (as Heidi would say...its not that I'm antisocial, I just dont like people)
depressed over imperfections
Chooses difficult work
Hesitant to start projects
Spends to much time planning
Prefers analysis to work
Self-deprecating
Hard to please
Standards often too high
Deep need for approval

Parental Weaknesses

Puts goals beyond reach
May discourage children
May be too meticulous
Becomes martyr
Sulks over disagreements
Puts guilt upon children

Friendship Weaknesses


Lives through others
Insecure socially
Withdrawn and remote
critical of others
Holds back affections
Dislikes those in opposition
Suspicious of people (sadly, true)
Antagonistic and vengeful
Unforgiving (You mean like that chick in second grade who stole my pencils?)
Full of contradictions
Skeptical of compliments (And how!)

In looking over this list, there are things that I agree with and disagree with (is it because it is wrong or because I just don't like it). I didn't comment on the parent items because unless the cat and dog really do count, I'm not one. And I can't comment or attest to the scientific validity of the test on this site, but it was interesting and I think that there is probably enough truth in it to give one something to think about.

Stone

A betrayed heart
becomes as if stone,
hard and unrelenting.

Wounds

The deep wounds

fill with tears

with the sorrows

of the unforgiven,

carried in the places

hidden within

our darker heart;

regret's prisoner,

oh, the things done,

and all that is undone,

words swallowed

that needed speaking,

angry words unleashed

with fury and wrath,

the desperate wish

to make them the unspoken;

the deep wounds

to the brim filled,

the deep wounds

that time won't heal.

Guilty Pleasure 101 Part Two

Chris getting voted off before Katherine? Well, all I can say is that's just wrong. Simon had it right...it should have been Katherine going home tonight. Come on everyone, grab a Q-tip and clean out those ears!

The High Cost of Getting There

Like most Americans who drive a car, I cringe every time I fill up the gas tank. But I know that I'm luckier than a lot of people out there. The extra money bites, but I'm not having to choose between getting myself to work and making sure that kids have lunch money for the week. For some that horrible decision is a fact of life. What is driving the cost of gas so high? Here are my ruminations:

1) The oil companies. They are quick to point out, while they're laughing all the way to the bank that they are not responsible for setting the gas prices. But let's face it, they would be throwing around their considerable weight if prices were down and their profits were in the tank. They could use that influence to help drive prices down, shave a couple billion off their profits and still be able to laugh on the way to the bank.
2) George W Bush. He managed to parlay the tragic events of 9/11 into an excuse to finish his daddy's unfinished business, but can't parlay the overthrow of a ruthless dictator into an oil deal. And his notion of a $100 rebate? Madness? Stupidity? Maybe a little bit of both. Put this up there with his $300 extra refund. Everyone likes to bash the democrats (I am a registered Independent) about their overly liberal spending, but the last Democrat left office and a huge surplas behind. A surplas that Dubba has turned into a record deficiet. Oh, and his cozy ties to the oil industry...surely that doesn't have anything to do with it?
3) Our addiction to fossil fuel...especially foreign fossil fuel. Sure building good trade relationships with other countries is important, but that doesn't mean we have to get caught with our pants down should the political winds change. (Egged on by idiots like Pat Robertson calling for the assasination of Venezuela's President.) And with countries like China growing in their deman for fuels, it isn't like these countries are having any trouble getting rid of their product.
4) Public Transportation. Or rather a lack of it in many areas. Where I live public transportation is a joke. I'd have to drive several miles to a place where I could get a ride on the bus and then what do I do with my car? I could drive into downtown, rent a monthly parking space, wait for the bus (we don't exactly have an expanded schedule), take the bus as far as I could and then hitch the rest of the way.
5) Americans. Yep--you and me. Let's face it, as a country we are spoiled. And we have an endless, passionate love affair with our vehicles. We love convenience. We love driving. We love road trips, going places, seeing people and places. We are a nation of consumers. We don't think much about jumping in the car and hitting the local drive in for some dinner or picking up the phone and having something delivered. I've tried to make the changes that I can, but since we're pretty much homebodies there isn't a lot of fat in the gas diet to cut out. I'm trying to do errands on the way home to avoid the extra trip on the weekends. And if I can't do that, I try to make sure that I plan properly to avoid extra miles back tracking. There isn't anyone that I can carpool with to work and David & me work different hours so that option is out as well. But if we can all do a little bit, maybe we can make a big difference.

Like most things of this level and complexity, there doesn't seem to be a quick and painless solution. And yes, we Americans tend to like the quick fix, but we may have to accept that the solution won't be quick and it won't be painles.

The Bare Soul

My soul is bare,

stripped by the

unraveling reason

of lies wrapped

in promise,

of betrayal

cloaked in

innocence,

of faith worn

by the eroding

tide of the

endless bitter.

The Death Penalty and Moussaoui

I am not an advocate of the death penalty because:

1) there is no evidence that the death penalty serves as a deterrent. In theory at least, the application of a sentance should serve not only to punish the guilty, but prevent future occurences of the same or similar type of crime.
2) there is evidence that the application of the death penalty is not the same across all racial groups. Instead the punishment is more likely to be sought and to be given when the defendant is non-caucasian.
3) of the innocent "man" possibility. I do not feel that we should be willing to risk sacrificing the innocent in order to punish the guilty.

But since I'm human so there are times when a crime is so heinous that I feel that the SOB in question should be terminated with extreme prejudice. But for me, Moussaoui was not a candidate for the death penalty. And it isn't because I didn't think that he didn't deserve to die for his participation in 9/11, but rather because I didn't want him to get what he wanted--a chance to die to his cause, to be a martyr. Better to lock him in a cold, dark place contemplating for a lifetime the ways that he failed. For someone like him, that is true punishment and one of which he is clearly deserving.

.....Hope

For anyone who wants more information about the death penalty in real, practical terms should read "Death Work: A Study of the Modern Execution Process."

Guilty Pleasure 101

Now that Ms. Pickler has finally been eliminated from the competition (and I have to say that it's about time), there is a lot more pleasure in my favorite guilty pleasure!! So whether you care or not, here is my rundown:

1) Elliott--neither of his performances really did much for me with his version of "Home" seeming rushed.
2) Paris--she should leave the Prince to the "prince" himself. Blah and bleh. And what was up with that outfit for her second performance.
3) Chris--his first performance was THE performance of the night. It's a close call between him and Taylor, but I think that Chris is going to be the new American Idol.
4) Taylor--his second performance was better vocally, but the first one was a hell of a lot more fun.
5) Katherine--i've just never been able to warm up to her, but I felt for her during the first performance...she blew it and she knew it. The second performance was better if a bit....odd.

There you have it! And yes, I admit it, I VOTE!