Slightly Controlled Chaos

The Deja Vu Edition

2009-05-17T08:09:00.002-05:00

We've all had it...that sense of Deja Vu...the feeling that you've been somewhere, met someone, done something before when you know that you haven't. In the season finale of Fringe, they gave a rather clever explanation for the phenomenon--that you have, in a sense, been there done that...only it's a different version of you in an alternate reality that you're picking up on. This is much better than The Matrix explanation (a glitch in the system) that is demonstrated when Neo sees a cat that looks exactly like one he just saw walking in the front of the same door. Since he just saw it how can he have the feeling that it hadn't happened before? The more I watch Fringe the more I like it. Yes, it does have a familiar X-files sort of feel to with the whole FBI exploring unknown phenomenon, but it definitely has more of an edge to it than it's predecessor.

I put the notion of alternate realities into the possible, but not probable category. As for going into an alternate reality, like time travel, probably not a good idea...isn't it enough that we mess up our own reality without screwing up someone else's? On Fringe, Walter really messed with someone else's reality. In his reality, his son, Peter, died so he crossed into an alternate reality and stole an alternate version of him. Tell me that isn't going to have some nasty consequences somewhere down the road.

It's an interesting theory that there are an infinite number of realities out there that are created by ever choice we make or don't make--every conceivable outcome to every conceivable decision that every person who ever lived has made. If on Monday you choose to go to work, there's a reality out there where you chose to call in sick. Maybe that means somewhere out there is a reality where I won the lottery....I wonder if it's a crime to rob a version of you living in a different reality?

What With Time Travel and All...

2009-05-10T07:39:00.004-05:00

Several weeks ago I was reading viewer comments about Lost and was amused by the number of comments in which people were upset about how the show had gone Sci-Fi. Huh...what? You're just now realizing that this show was science fiction?? In the first two episodes of the show a large unseen force shakes the jungle trees and then apparently snatched the co-pilot out of the front of the plane and then dumps his mangled body in the tops of the trees and it wasn't obvious that the show was...well...science fiction. And what about the paralyzed Locke who suddenly gained the ability to walk when he woke up after the crash? The smoke monster? The guy in the hatch pushing a button every 108 minutes to keep the world safe? And so on and so on. But throw in a little time travel and suddenly the show is science fiction. I guess time travel just smacked of science fiction and everything else just seemed subtle?

My entire understanding about the area of time travel stems solely from watching science fiction...so there's a fair bet that my understanding is lacking in just about every possible aspect, but it's still a fascinating subject.

On the Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis) side, time travel is possible under the right circumstances...namely the passing of an artificially created worm hole through a significant solar flare event and oops...there you are in the past. Star Trek also involved the sun in the achieving time warp and sling shotting oneself into the past. Both, however, dabble into other ways of time travel, but I don't recall anything approaching a scientific explanation regarding how it was achieved. Over in Primeval, they regard time as just another dimension so every point in time theoretically exists all at the same time. The other big debate is about causality. Typically, there is great concern about changing something in the past that would then change the future. They debate paradoxes such as going back into the past and killing your own grandfather before he fathered your parent....if you existed to do this how could go you back and do something that meant you wouldn't have been born to do what you just did. Lost has been different in that the Farraday character has, until recently, maintained that you couldn't change anything...whatever happened, happened. And no action you can take would change anything that had happened. Sayid tried to change the past when he shot Benjamin Linus as a child to keep him from growing up into the monster that they knew in the "present". However, a couple of his fellow survivors actually took action to save him...the same actions that change him so he actually becomes the monster. See...whatever happened, happened. They actually do allow things to be changed...sort of. When Desmond had a vision of Charlie dying, he took steps to prevent the event that would have led to his death. The result? The next day he had a vision of Charlie dying with the only change being the manner in which he would die. So, he could make a change, but all it did was delay what was going to happen.

If we could time travel and if we could change things, should we? On the surface, it would be easy to say that someone should go back in time and kill Hitler before his rise to power. He was a horrible monster who led to the deaths of millions of people so what could be wrong with changing that. It seems like a clear cut decision. The problem is that while we know the path of history, we have no way to determine what the new history would be. As hard as it seems, we might actually make thins worse...we might, however unintentionally, create a worse scenario...give rise to a new evil. I think if we had the ability, we'd probably use it, but I'm not sure that we would be better off for it. I think it might be better off that if time travel is possible that we never figure it out.

Annoying, Ringy Thing

2009-05-04T11:14:00.001-05:00

I have to confess that as a teenage girl I could spend endless hours talking on the phones with my friends. And while for the life of me, I can’t remember of even now imagine what we could have to talk about during all those hours, I do recall how obsessively, insanely important it was at the time. It’s no coincidence that the worst grounding I ever got was not being able to talk on the phone. My dad knew how to deal out cruel punishments.

How the times have changed. Now when the phone rings, I announce to my husband “annoying, ringy thing”. Just in case he hadn’t noticed the thing hanging on the wall was making an annoying, soul stealing sound.

The sound of the ringing phone just grates like nails across a blackboard. It’s an instant snap of unhappy, headache inducing aggravation. I snatch the phone up and look at the Caller ID (a most fantastic invention). Then I can choose whether or not to answer it. If the number isn’t one that I know or I suspect of being any sort of telemarketer (on the Do Not Call List, but that still leaves you open to a whole host of exempt entities) I either hit the silence button (which at least keeps me from being annoyed by the phone closest to me) or I pick up the line and immediately hang up. I KNOW that I should probably just answer and tell them to stop calling, but well, I don’t. Otherwise, I answer the phone sounding well, really annoyed. It’s not the person calling (most of the time) that has annoyed me…I’m just annoyed that the phone rang.

I think the change started when I worked in a call center and I talked on the phone all day. The last thing I wanted to do on my own time was talk on the phone. And has evolved over time into the current affliction. It doesn’t help that it seems to happen at the worst times…during dinner, while I’m washing dishes, or deeply involved in something. It’s like there is some sort of universal signaling system that subliminally broadcasts the sudden desire for people to call you while you are fully engaged in something else.

Before Heidi and I both had DVR, we would be watching critical (Lost & Heroes) at the same time. We would communicate by text message any thoughts, statements regarding the current episode. The hubby would walk through and ask why we just didn’t call each other. Because I can text quickly or wait for a commercial break or read a quick message without actually distracting myself from the show….talking on the phone is distracting. Talking on the phone is annoying….even when I’ve made the call…it’s just worse if you have to do if AFTER being jolted out of peaceful content by the horrible ringing sound.

To Boldly Go...

2009-05-03T15:04:00.003-05:00

Star Trek. I'm looking forward to seeing the latest entry into the Star Trek universe. It looks much different than anything we've seen so far and may be the better for it. Anyone who knows me might find this a bit odd since I'm normally a purist about such things (if I LOVE an original, chances are I won't see the remake). But maybe that's the beauty of Star Trek. Just like it's science...it's not about what is, but about what could be. It may indeed boldly go where no Star Trek show or movie has ever gone before.

I remember watching reruns of the original show when I was a kid and even though it seemed cheesy even then, it had an undeniable appeal. I was an avid watcher of Next Generation and even dedicated some TV watching time to Deep Space Nine. I could never watch Voyager...I tried, but it just annoyed and grated. I also tried Enterprise. I had great hopes for that show. It was a chance to have a great deal of fun...after all, there had to be some reasons, some really great screw ups that caused them to come up with all those rules (Prime Directive, anyone). It never delivered.

So with high hopes, I will be paying movie theater prices to catch this one on the big screen. I hope it's worth the price of admission!

Random Bits

2009-04-16T19:05:00.003-05:00

I continue to be frustrated by the creative dry spell that I've been going through for what seems like forever. I get random bits and pieces that float into my head, but I can never seem to get them shaped into anything. It's really frustrating because I am missing the creative process. And while I'm trying to get more regular with my blogging, it's never been a real avenue for my writing (some poetry aside and I wouldn't mind having something new to offer). And while I do hope to be more regular in posting, I don't really want the blog to be about cultivating my writing. I like the blog as a more relaxed avenue where I'm just ranting, raving or rambling without having to worry too much about content, structure, ideas, progression, imagery or anything else. I want it to be rather worry free.

So, here's some non-creative random bits & pieces:

New TV worth giving a try: The Unusuals. It's not great, but it's got potential.

CD I'm currently in love with: Day & Age by The Killers.

Movie I can't wait to see: Star Trek

Movie I'd never heard of until I saw it on the digital guide and ended up really enjoying: Sunshine

Movie I'd heard of, wanted to see and finally watched and fell in love with: The Inside Man

American Idol: Haven't watched much this year...haven't really found much interesting about the contestants. And Johnny Cash isn't just rolling over in his grave, he's digging his way out for the "unique" version of Ring of Fire. Also, show runover ruined my DVR recording of Fringe....last 5 minutes were missing.

Cat: Thinks the fountain I got for Christmas is his personal watering device...downright demanding about it as well.

Dog: Thinks if you're moving around the house, you should be getting her a treat.

Work: Employed and thankful for it. Try to remind myself not to complain too much in this market.

Economy: All those finanicial geniuses didn't see this coming? Won't be easy to fix and fix won't be pain free.

Not particularly profound...but hey, at least it's a post!

Addicted to TV

2009-03-15T11:20:00.003-05:00

I don’t think that it’s any big secret that I am addicted to television…I don’t consider it to be a problem…I revel in my addiction. Although, I have to say that it has been a long time since I’ve had so many shows that are on my “must watch” list. There have been times that despite how much the TV was on, there were only one or two shows that demanded my attention when they were on…that list has grown longer.
But first, a word about the shows that I’ve lost in the past year or so (ok…I should have aired my gripes in this area a long time ago…but it wasn’t like I was current with my blogging).

The two shows I miss the most:

Jericho. The great “nut” incident did garner this show 8 more mid-season episodes. And CBS was kind of enough to bring it to some sort of conclusion (while simultaneously leaving it open ended enough to resume should they want to). This was a greater courtesy than is normally extended (somewhere in my blog I think I complained about how both Surface and Invasion just stopped with huge cliffhangers that were never resolved). This show was rather dark, but it was also smart and clever.

Stargate Atlantis. This show finally seemed to grow up and come into its own and probably had two more good seasons in it, but instead Sci-Fi took the cancellation cleaver to it. More disappointingly, the buzz on the new entry into the franchise sounds a lot like the worst of the Star Trek shows (Voyager). Maybe they were afraid of letting this show linger too long like they did with its predecessor and elected instead to cut it down too soon. When they finally ended SG-1, they did it with an incredibly disappointing series finale (it wouldn’t have been a good regular episode). They did not repeat the mistake with Atlantis…giving it a decent send-off.

Other shows I miss:

Pushing Daisies. I guess that I knew show was doomed from the beginning, but I was hoping it would make it. Truthfully, I stopped watching before the end actually came because the buzz was it was going to end with a huge cliff-hanger and I just couldn’t manage it.

Moonlight & Shark

Now, all the stuff that I’m watching:

Chuck. The premise of this show is ridiculous, but the great thing is that they know it and they never take themselves too seriously.

Heroes. The first season of this show is still the best, but this season is much better than last season. It’s clever and has a great cast.

24. In some ways, the show is always exactly the same from season to season and in the real world, we could never tolerate Jack Bauer. But it still works.

Fringe. Either you will love this show or you won’t. If you were an X-Files fan, you should sign up.

Lost. This may be the only show that ever “umjumped the shark”. Another show that there’s just no middle ground with.

Eleventh Hour. Part X-Files, part CSI. Interesting & smart.

Primeval. BBC America’s offering to the Sci-fi genre. Clever even though the accents are sometimes difficult (thanks to the creators of closed captioning).

The Closer. Normally shown as a summer show that they decided to show this on Monday's against 24 and Heroes---good thing for Saturday repeats.

Burn Notice. Another one that also shows in the summer, but who threw out several episodes mid-season...fortunately they picked their time slot a bit better. Slick and entertaining.

Sons of Anarchy. I almost didn't watch this show and there are some reasons to not watch it, but it's well-written & well-acted. Katey Segal like you've never seen her...and she's brilliant.

Other Shows I enjoy:

Sanctuary. Not the best of the Sci-Fi channel offerings, but good to see Amanda Tapping and the show did get better as it went along.

Bones. I actually really enjoy this show, but tend to forget when it’s on. Good story lines and great cast chemistry.

Said goodbye on own:

House. Just don’t care anymore. Once they started the competition for his new staff, it stopped being interesting. Tried to watch for awhile, but not worth the effort.

A Quick Review

2009-03-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

Wow…it really has been a long time since I’ve updated this blog of mine….I didn’t intend it to be so long, it just sort of worked out that way.

2008 Review
The year started off well enough…by March I had managed to lose 18 pounds…I was working out regularly and feeling pretty good about it. I was also horribly addicted to the Nintendo DS that I got for Christmas.

Then came March…..and we undertook a rescue mission for one of our clients that ended up being a life sucking experience. The work days turned out to be 12 to 14 hour ordeals…and almost every day of the week. I know I went one two month stretch where I worked every day. This greatly reduced the amount of time that I had for working out and consequently, I gained back every one of those lovely pounds I had worked so hard to shed…..and now I’m trying again. It seems that it’s harder this time….very frustrating. Wait…let me say it again…VERY FRUSTRATING. It was nearly impossible to not go out to lunch every day….it was a respite…a chance to run away from the building and everything in it. It did not help the weight control, but did a great deal for retaining sanity. We figured life would be painful for a couple of months when we started the mission, but it was MANY months. All things considered, I remind myself of how lucky we were. While so many were getting laid off, we were actually able to hire new people.

The next thing you know…it was October. And by that time, we had managed to make a mess out of our “office”. (Well, one day it’s going to be an office) which made working in there very uncomfortable. On top of that, the laptop is in desperate need of replacing. It has been a good machine…but it nearly 9 years old…so I should be lucky that it starts (of course, it takes FOREVER to start). Every time I turn it on, I wonder if it is going to work this time…and all the number keys don’t always work. So that makes it quite frustrating. However, since the office is still a mess…I won’t replace it. I plan on getting a desktop and since the desk is not really usable at the moment I am unwilling to buy a computer that will just sit in a box until the office is done. I have some great photo software the hubby got me for Christmas one year that won’t load on the laptop. On the other hand, we have a guest bedroom and one of the bathrooms got finished. That leaves the office, the master bath and oh yeah…the leaky basement.

I am sure that there were about a thousand more things that happened last year…but my mind is mushy on all the details (I’m sure some of it I purged on purpose). I had lots of thoughts about blogging…various ideas, thoughts, poems and what not, but never got around to it or felt like fighting the laptop to get posted. I hope that this year will be better in that regard. Wish me luck!

Past Due

2008-07-06T22:07:00.001-05:00

Well..it's been quite awhile since I've posted anything...and this won't be much of one! I hope to carve out some time soon to return to the blogging world! I do miss it and I have lots of ideas/thoughts that I'd like to blog about....now if I can just create more time in the day!

A Whole Kettle of Guilt

2007-12-02T20:29:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading my blog for a year, you know that I love Christmas. I think it is the most wonderful time of year...although I'm still not quite ready for the Christmas carols yet. The Sunday after Thanksgiving the tree and all the Christmas decorations went up with the exception of our little tree (it does have lights strung...if only I could find the extension cord). I have done 95% of the Christmas shopping done and there are wrapped gifts under the tree. And for those gifts I haven't bought I know what I'm going to get and where to go to get it so I'm feeling fairly stress free on the gift purchasing which means I'm more free to actually enjoy the holiday.

So what could cause a blemish on this otherwise supremely enjoyable time of year? The constant solicitations for charitable donations. Don't get me wrong....I believe that this time of year, above all others, is the perfect time to be charitable and to share with those that are less fortunate. The hubby and I are by no means rich, but we've enough that we can share and there's always something we can afford to do without in order to help others. So far this year we've done two shoeboxes (one for a girl and one for a boy) for the Samaritan's Purse group, bought two outfits for a 13 month old girl, given to a program that buys Christmas presents for kids in foster care and thrown change into the the Salvation Army kettle at Wal-Mart. I will also be buying a V-Tech toy for a little boy and we're doing a food box for one of the Adopt-A-Families sponsored by our church to provide a complete holiday meal.

But still when I walk by the next Salvation Army kettle and don't throw change in, I'll feel that sting of disapproval from the person ringing the bell. They won't know that I've already given to their cause and to others. I'm convinced that when I said No to the Boys & Girls club the other night at Taco Bell they spitefully gave me Mild instead of Hot sauce as a punishment. I'll feel a sting when I throw out, without opening, the mail requesting money for this charity or that (well, mostly...if I've never heard of them, I don't feel terribly guilty. Honestly, many charities out there don't do much for anyone except themselves). Because I hate the thought that there's some child out there who won't have a present under their tree or anything in their stocking or maybe they don't have a stocking. And giving the prevelance of Santa Clause and the whole Naughty/Nice fable, these kids may think that they weren't good enough to deserve anything for Christmas. I hate the thought, that while we will have three places to go on Christmas with food at each of them, that there might be a family out there who won't have much if anything to eat for Christmas. And I wish that we could do more.

But we do what we can so I'll pass on the helping of guilt for what we're not able to do.

It Was About Time

2007-11-18T08:25:00.000-05:00

Every Wednesday is weigh in day to see if the previous weeks efforts have netted a loss. I was thrilled the week that I stepped on the scale and it said I had lost four pounds. I got off the scale and got back on just to be sure. Although it would have been nice, I didn't expect to lose that much weight each week. The next week Wednesday came, on the scale I went. I got off the scale and then back on....same as the week before. So I continued my efforts until the next Wednesday. On the scale I went, off the scale and then back on...same as the two weeks before. Another week....Wednesday, on the scale I went, off the scale and then back on...same as the three weeks before. So this past Wednesday, before I got the scale, I had a little talk with the scale:

"Look, I've been working my ass off! I exercise 3 to 5 times per week....for an HOUR, kickboxing no less and usually follow it with some light weights or pilates. I can barely remember what chocolate tastes like. There's no bottle of Mountain Dew camping out on my desk all day--its a bottle of water--and I drink it, I don't like it but I drink it. I've cut back the sugar in our sweet tea to the point that it's probably heresy to actually call it sweet tea anymore. I drink Sprite Zero with dinner and take a can to work for lunch. Yes, I have regular soda when we go out to lunch because unless we only go to Subway every time there's no other place that has the stuff and it's the only diet drink that doesn't make we want to toss my cookies. I get fajitas and don't eat the tortillas. The cheese in our house is 2%--no fully loaded yummy cheese. I miss great italian food....let me tell you....skim milk does not make a good alfredo sauce. I watch my portions, I go hungry and 100 calorie packs of popcorn are my new best friend. I read the nutrition label on everything, I check to see how many points everything is and I make as many low fat substitutions as possible when making a recipe. Cheese dip has become a rare luxury. Yes, I use my daily points, but not all my weekly ones and I even leave activity points on the table. So, this week you'd better show me some movement in the right direction or I'm tossing you into the driveway and then I'm going to jump in my car and run you over--repeatedly. You want mercy? I'll give you the same mercy you've shown me for the last few weeks."

So on the scale I went, then off, then back on to be sure....finally another 2 pounds lost!

Today

2007-11-10T20:17:00.000-05:00

The day began with a broken door knob. Letting the dog outside became a bit of a challenge when the door knob came partially off in my hand and it's impossible to explain to the dog why a task that normally goes quite quick is taking such a long time. The knob still worked if held just right, pushed in with just the right amount of pressure and then turned, but not too quickly. "Honey, where did you say you put that $10 off coupon for Lowe's?"

So, on the way to Heidi's housewarming add one stop at Lowe's for a new door knob set. Fortunately, this went quickly and I was off to see Heidi's new place.

I was very excited to see Heidi's new place and to give her the combo birthday/housewarming/Christmas presents that I had for. I take great pride in picking out the perfect gift for people....it's almost a mission. (I love getting gift certificates, but usually feel rather the failure when I give them. ) I do not take great pride in the fact that her birthday present is several months late as I do my best to be quite timely in the giving of gifts. But I was quite thrilled with the choices that I had made with these gifts and could not wait to give them. Her place was adorable! I agree with her statement that it was more contemporary than expected but still was very much her and very warm and inviting (her throw pillows were also heavenly soft)! And she seemed very happy with her gifts (black and white Mickey Mouse ear salt & pepper shakers, white Mikey Mouse ears serving platter, and Disney princess snow globe ornaments). It was also hard not to stand by the kitchen table and just everything in sight since it was all quite scrumptious...although she was very good with her tasty, healthy choices (the pumpkin spice squares with chocolate chips where incredibly tasty) as she has also been on a weight loss trek.

From there, the weekly trip to the grocery store. It somehow seems that no matter how little I buy, I'm always spending more money than I think I am and more than I want. And it seems the healthier I eat, the more things cost. But since we haven't learned to live without food, I suck it up and move along.

I dashed home, unloaded and put up the groceries and then put the finishing touches on the gift basket for the baby shower that was next on my schedule for the day. I also love making my own gift baskets (Heidi almost got one before we went Disney) and filling them with a variety of things. I also tend to spend too much money when doing this, but life is short and I can't take it with me. So this one was filled with a lot of the little things from the baby registry. I was particularly fond of the rubber ducky thermometer. I remember when I was buying a number of the items...the color changing spoons to ensure the food isn't too hot, the cord shortener and so forth that one has to wonder how all of us grown-ups made it without all this stuff to ensure our safety and how much guilt modern parents must feel if they don't get all this stuff.

And off to the baby shower (after picking up the mum-in-law)....and more yummy snack food temptation. I did fairly well...I didn't actually shove my face into any platter of food, but I probably did have too much cheese, but it's CHEESE. It was sweet to watch her open all the gifts for her first baby and oooh and aaahh over all the cute baby items.

From there, I took the mum-in-law to the quilt stop to pick up a pattern she'd ordered. And now I might be taking a class with her one Saturday a month...but not in quilting (of course, she needs no classes in quilting as she's an ace). I don't even know what they call what we'd be doing...I'm sure the lady told me...but it doesn't require a sewing machine or particularly advanced skills (I only cross-stitch), but it looks like fun and the stuff is cute. And since I have a great mum-in-law, I think it would be a lot of fun and give me something else crafty to do other than cross-stitch!

A quick trip to drop off the mum-in-law and then off to The Fresh Market to spend a Gift Certificate we've been holding on to for no particular reason on some yummy filet mignon kabobs for the hubby to grill tomorrow then home to cook dinner.

It was a busy day.

It was a good day.

What Art Movement Am I?

2007-11-09T21:10:00.000-05:00

You Are Expressionism

Moody, emotional, and even a bit angsty... you certainly know how to express your emotions.
At times, you tend to lack perspective on your life, probably as a result of looking inward too much.
This introspection does give you a flair for the dramatic. And it's even maybe made you cultivate some artistic talents!
You have a true artist's temperament... which is a blessing and a curse.

What Art Movement Are You?

More Random Bits

2007-11-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

The Patriot Act: Should have been called "We Call it National Security so You Won't Care About Giving Up Your Rights Act."

Movies I want to see: "I Am Legend", "Sweeney Todd"

Christmas present purchased: 11

Most promising presidential candidate: Stephen Colbert (I don't care is SC dems did kick him off the ballot)

Pets: When is the dog going to stop digging up the yard?

Number of times our basement has flooded: None (do the words Extreme Drought Conditions mean anything to you?)

Strangest gift I've ever purchased for a 9 year old girls birthday: Make Your Own Mummy Kit (trust me...she'll love it. Bonus points: Doesn't include enough gauze for mummification attempt on younger brother)

TV: Thumbs Up-Moonlight; Thumbs Down-House

Time Change: It would have been better if I had managed to actually sleep the extra hour (remind me again, why do we still change time twice per year?)

Worst TV Commercial: Viva Viagra

Random Bits

2007-10-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

Campaign/Election: Is it over yet? And remind me, are they campaigning for the 2008 or 2012 election...they start so early now.

Baseball: Well, at least if the Braves didn't make it to The World Series neither did the Yankees!

Joe Torre: I hope he told Steinbrenner to kiss his ass when he turned down their offer.

Halloween: The best time of year to watch movies on TV.

Future Outlook: Time to build the bunker and stock up on emergency supplies.

TV: Heroes, Chuck, Pushing Daisies (weird, offbeat and I keep coming back from more to try and decide if I actually like it or not), Criminal Minds (holding up well post-Mandy Patikin).

Milestones: First Wedding Aniversary!

Dieting: Still sucks, some progress (which Anniversary dinner probably ruined).

Pets: When will the dog stop digging up the yard.

Ann Coulter: The anti-Christ? Nah, not smart or clever enough.

Book I want to read: When a Crocodile Eats the Sun?

Shopping Days to Christmas: Can't even think about it!

Autumn Reigns

2007-10-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

We have come to my favorite time of year...Autumn! The cool mornings are a refreshing blessing with the heart of the day free of the heat and humidity that drug me down over the summer, its suffocating weight on my chest. And as I deal with the cold much better than the heat, I don't even mind that fall means that winter is just around the corner. Of course, winter has changed so much since I was a child that it seems a bare skeleton of it's former self. I remember when it used to SNOW...I mean really snow. Now, winter has been reduced to two, maybe three, half-hearted dustings. And it never seems to get cold for very long either...it's like a long fall or a really early spring.

I guess there are advantages to the reduced snow fall...after all, as a kid, I never had to worry about getting myself anywhere...if it snowed, the schools were closed. As a grown-up (more or less), work doesn't close like the schools and attendence is generally required in all weather conditions. Which is why I love the AWD on the Subaru since driving in inclement weather is not one of my favorite things to do. But some real snowfall might help alleviate the extreme drought that we've been in...well, for years with no real signs of getting any better.

To be honest, I don't know if it's global warming or just some weather cycle that has led to the decrease in rain and snow and the warmer temperatures or maybe it's a combination of both, but it would be nice if, just once, we could get enough snow to make a real snowman without having to gather the snow from the entire yard!

Hurry & Vote Now

2007-09-23T21:40:00.000-05:00

I voted for branding the ball and then donating to the Hall of Fame. Somehow simply donating it doesn't seem right and neither does banishing it (out of sight, out of mind). It was a sad day to me that this record was broken by Barry Bonds. Yes, records are made to be broken, we can only hope that those who break them are worthy of the honor.

Mexican Meatloaf

2007-09-19T20:04:00.000-05:00

cooking spray
1/2 lb extra lean ground beef
1/2 lb lean ground turkey
2 large egg whites
2 oz cornbread stuffing (about 1 cup)
1 med onion-chopped
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp ground cumin
4 oz can green chili-diced
8 oz canned enchilada sauce

--in large bowl combine all ingredients but 4 oz of the enchilada sauce
--shape into an oval & placed on greased broiler pan (if you do this instead of just cooking in a baking pan, chop onions fairly fine and add about 1/4 c of cornbread stuffing..it cooks fine w/o it, but it tends to droop and cook around the rack)
--cook for one hour at 375 degrees (don't forget to preheat)
--top with remaining enchilada sauce and cook for another 5 minutes
--6 servings

I add more of the spices because I like spice in my food...you could also add some spicier peppers to give this more sizzle and still keep it low fat.

This is my second recipe that falls into the good for you category.....why? you guessed it...trying to lose weight and yes, it sucks! It really sucks. I love food and I love to cook, but of course, most of the stuff I really love fall into the bad for you category. I love mexican food (lots of cheese) and italian food (lots of pasta & cheese). I love things with rich sauces and oh, let us not forget chocolate. So I struggle with finding foods that still taste good and fill me up (both of which are a challenge). All things considered, my weight could be far worse, but there is definately room for improvement (the closet full of clothes I love, but can no longer wear remind me of this on a daily basis) so I trudge through trying to get water to stave off the hunger pangs while hunting for food that doesn't suck.

It's Almost Time to Say Goodbye

2007-09-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading my blog for awhile you know that we have been taking care of my mother's ugly little dog since the end of March. Although, I have to say that since we've been taking care of the dog, she's not quite so ugly anymore....due largely to the fact that she now has fur! The dog is a mini-Schnauzer and the groomer believed in the standard Schnauzer cut (who comes up with these things anyway) and shaved this dog nearly naked except for some fur along her legs and a bit on her face. For a little dog who already has skin issues, the close cut added some razor burn to the equation and exposed her tender skin to all the elements. I have told my mother she is forbidden to take the dog back to that groomer or to ever have her cut that way again. I have done no more than trim her face and legs and the occassional matted area since we've had her and while she still has the occassional itchies, overall, her skin issues have improved dramatically. I wish that I had a before picture to go with the afters so you could see how much difference there really is.

My sister decided to move home from Seattle and will be staying with our mother so the little dog gets to go home. My sister along with her two dogs and her best friend have been driving across the country since last Tuesday (they've made a few stops along the way) and were due to arrive yesterday. That meant the little dog was supposed to go home yesterday. Well, they got in, but they got here sick, went to the urgent care for some meds and will be staying a hotel for a couple of days in order to prevent the possibility of getting the mother unit getting something. That means it looks like it will be tomorrow before the little dog finally gets to go home...with her eye drops, her oily skin and her heart murmer medication. Which should also mean the end of the territorial peeing contests that have been going on. Our puppy (she's like 8) will probably be happy although she has endured the little dog fairly well. The cat will be thrilled because he really doesn't like the little dog and he never wants to play (good thing he has no front claws or the little dog probably wouldn't look this good). And my mother will be happy since she's missed the little creature and the visits just haven't been enough.

It's Been a Long Time

2007-08-31T22:12:00.000-05:00

The various fractals never did spark the creative fire that I was looking for, but I still enjoy making them......and who cares if I never understand the math behind them (probably enjoy them more since I don't)! So here are a couple of recent ones I rather like.

Eat This

2007-08-25T12:18:00.000-05:00

Crab Lasagna Roll-Ups

2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 c. (16oz) small-curd cottage cheese
1/4 c. grated parmesan cheese
2 tbs. Italian seasoning
2 tbs. minced fresh parsley
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp drield basil
1/4 tsp garlic powder
8 oz imitation crabmeat, flaked
12 lasagna noodles, cooked and drained
2 can 8 oze each, tomato sauce

--In a large bowl, combine the eggs, cheeses and seasonings.
--Add crab, mix well.
--Place about 1/3 c. on each noodle, roll up
--Place seam side down in a 13x9x2 baking dish coated with nonstick cooking spray.
--Top with tomato sauce
--Cover and bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes until heated through.

Notes: I added about 8 oz diced tomatoes with oregano/basil to the tomato sauce to ensure that all the noodles were covered and didn't get hard while cooking. Also, this is a fairly lowfat meal, but you can probably trim it down by using low fat cottage cheese (not sure I'd go fat free). If you don't like cottage cheese...don't worry, neither do I but I still really like this recipe. And it goes great with a salad.

Watch This

2007-08-23T20:21:00.001-05:00

I am about to recommend two documentaries as "required" viewing even though I haven't seen both of either of them!

The first is "When the Levees Broke" about New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina. While at the beach, hubby and me watched Acts 1 and 2 and I caught most of Acts 3 and 4 when it aired a couple of days later. In watching it, you probably won't find much that you don't already know, but you'll be reminded of a lot. And given the state that New Orleans is still in and the number of people who have been displaced, well, we probably need the reminder. If you don't like Bush, there is nothing in this documentary that will change your mind. If you do like him, well, what is wrong with you? At every level, the government failed. I am not a fan of big government and think that they spend entirely too much time in our business, but since we're paying for big government, we should get something out of it. The response was dismal and ineffective. The excuse of "we had no idea it was this bad" holds no credence when all you had to do is turn on your television to see how bad it is. You'll want to check the exclusions on your insurance policy and look for ways that you'll be screwed. They have managed to dodge paying out probably what amounts to hundreds of millions of dollars by declaring most of the damage as having been caused not by the hurricane, but flooding. One man, who had held his policy for the entire 50 years he'd owned his house, was given $800 for non-flood damage to his home. A new shed was deemed repairable (not that it looked that way in the footage) and was given $400 for it. Yep, I'm sure he'll be breaking ground on a new place any day now. Insurance has evolved from no exclusions to the current state where they can exclude practically anything they want to the point you'll wonder if your policy covers anything at all. After we suffered the glancing effects of a hurricane that pushed inland a couple of years ago, I actually asked about getting flood insurance in addition to our homeowners policy. I was told that they could arrange for whoever it was that had to come and approve it, but they had never had one person in our area approved for it. There are powerful scenes in this documentary, things that will make you sad, plenty to make you mad, but the length does make it a hard watch if you try and do it all at once (probably why HBO wasn't airing it back to back). But despite it's fault, it should be watched.

The second recommendation is one that I missed the first 10 minutes of and the very end (the show "froze" on screen and when it started back up, the credits were rolling...I probably missed about 5, maybe 10 minutes) is "White Light/Black Rain" about the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. Unless there is something wrong with your, this one will rip your heart out. Don't like subtitles...deal with it...it's worth it. Presented is not only the words of survivors, but their artwork as well. They begin their stories with their every day life, what they and their families were doing in the moments before their lives were changed in the most horrifying way. They were but children at the time, happy and content, who watched their families die, sometimes immediately before their eyes...others more slowly from the after effects. We were arrogant in our ignorance when we dropped the bombs, our understanding of the legacy we would leave were incomplete. Afterwards, many had no choice but to return to the ruins of the city because the government gave them no aid and no one else wanted them. Even now, even today, they do not want people to know that they were there, that they were survivors because they had become the untouchables. You might be surprised that not all of them hated the Americans when they came as they blamed us less than their own goverment. And then, when they thought the worst was over, radiation poisoning came. No one understood or knew how to treat it and in some cases, no one tried. You will feel the pain of the woman who so wishes that she had died in place of her family because she convinced them that they should all stay together as a family in Nagasaki. They all died within months...leaving her alone. It's well done and not overdone....they let the stories speak for themselves. And even though their voices are often soft, they speak as loud as the bombs that changed their lives forever.

Waiting

2007-08-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

On Sunday evening, we were back at the hospital with mother...we got there about 6:30. Her initial exam revealed a normal BP but an o2 level of 83 (should be 95 or better) so they hooked her up to a tank and wheeled her back into the ER. There were only 3 other families waiting so I was hopefully that we would not have another marathon session waiting in the ER. Sure, yeah...what was I thinking.

When she was in the ER back in March, both my brother and I got to stay in the room with her, but the hospital has since become real Nazi's about allowing only one visitor at a time so we began the tag team game...coming back and forth as tests were done, results came in, need for information from her little book containing her medicines and allergies.

It didn't take us long to figure out that things were not going to move any faster this night than it did on any previous evening, but it did show why they call it practicing medicine.

I was in the room with my mother waiting on them to come get her for a CT scan when her o2 level kept dipping below 90. I would have her do several deep breaths until it went back up and the alarm would turn off. I should note that on our ER visits, we have heard the alarms on the monitors go off many, many times either because of her BP or her o2 levels and never has anyone come in to check on it. When they came to get her for the scan, the guy went to move her o2 tube from the wall unit to the tank on the bed to discover that it wasn't even turned on. I went back to the waiting room to update my brother while she was taken for tests. He recalled that the doctor (one of many) who had come in to see her had turned it off to see what her real level was....and apparently had not turned it back on.....how comforting.

She was gone nearly an hour and when she returned, my brother was back in the room and called out when he was able to get a signal to tell me that it would be 45 minutes to an hour before they could get someone to read the tests. When they finally did, they decided to admit her. Of course, they couldn't admit her, but had to call her regular doctor (or rather their service since her doctor doesn't do admitting at night) to get her admitted. Since we'd just come back from vacation, my brother went home at this point and I stayed with my mother.

They had said that based on her EKG and blood tests that they felt that she might have had a slight heart attack and felt that she had pneumonia again in her left lung. My mother's reaction to this news: "Can I go home?" Uh....NO...what are you thinking?!?!

This meant more blood tests to confirm and finding her a room. Our hospital is really two hospitals that supposedly merged, but much everything runs separately. We prefer the one with the ER, but the only rooms available were in the mother/baby unit so she was going to have to go to the "other" hospital.

So we waited...I figured out how to silence the alarm and how to reset the bp cuff to take another reading. They had her on fluids and took her off, but then her BP went down (it was NORMAL when we checked in) so they gave her more fluids (too bad you threw out a 1/2 bag before and now we get to pay for 2 bags). And they had to do more tests before they sent her over, but it should all be done with her moved by 2:00AM at the latest. They did her blood testing (along the way this included taking blood through her IV, sticking her other arm and her hand) and took her for another scan. Then the nurse announced that her BP was up enough and that the ambulance was there to move her across the street and she would let them know to give her another couple of minutes to go to the bathroom and then she'd be off. We didn't see that nurse again (and I went looking for her), but no one came for another 40 minutes or so to get her. And I heard them talking about how her IV had been left on full and the bag had been sucked dry. By the time they finished and got her on her way to her room, it was a few minutes after 3:00AM and nearly 4 by the time I got home.

They did finally decide that she didn't have a heart attack, by a partially collapsed lung (attributed to a condition that led to her 2000 65 day stay in the hospital) and the fluid caused her heart to work harder messing with her EKG and heart enzyme test. So she was sprung mid-afternoon Monday with instructions (which she will undoubtedly partially ignorem like she did after her knee surgery this year). So now we wait to see what comes next.

On another, completely unrelated note, I finally figured out how to add a photo to my profile!

More Photos

2007-08-19T12:28:00.000-05:00

Here are a few more photos from my trip that are among my favorites:

Despite the number of daylight hours, there wasn't a lot of actual sunshine. This picture shows just a hint of the sun playing in the clouds and on the water.

I'm not sure why I like this picture so much...but I do.

My friend Thomas said that this picture is downright artistic! If you knew him, you would know what a compliment it is!

I was entranced with all the little islands that dotted the coastline...but this one was most impressive with the little house sitting on it. There are small communities on some shores where the people are completely off the grid...I could never do it, but I admire them for it.

The clouds almost appear to be catching on fire.

It's not the clearest of pictures, but I just love the idea of this photo....

Not everyone likes this antiqued look as much as I do, but I find it romantic.....and so fitting. It calls back the "good ol' days" when we were fearless explorers.

The Trip Was Awesome

2007-07-25T21:16:00.000-05:00

Our trip got off to a bit of a rough start thanks to those "wonderful" people at Delta. The airport where we live is small and while I've never had any security related issues, I still think that it's prudent to be early and not take any chances....especially for a trip that I have so eagerly awaited. So we arrived at 12:15pm for our 2:05pm flight to find that there were absolutley no Delta agents at the Delta counter. There were other people waiting and a nice sign advising us that they were having a station briefing, would be back shortly and sorry for any inconvenience. As time dragged on, one of the people in line behind us called their toll free Customer Service line. It was almost funny when we heard her say, "How am I supposed to tell a Delta agent that there are no Delta agents." They emerged to a long line of unhappy people at 1:15pm...did I mention that there were already people waiting? One man was angrily complaining to which the reply was, "We should have checked, but we didn't think that there would be this many people waiting." Uh...its 50 minutes before the flight.....so you weren't thinking. From there our flight was delayed and we barely made our connection. We arrived in Seattle on time at 6:45pm (PT) but our luggage didn't...not a single piece. This was followed by assurances that our luggage would be delivered that very night as it was on the next flight. Uh huh. That's why me and my sister were back at the airport at 12:15am to see if the luggage was even there (after several unhappy phone calls) and dug it out of the sea of all the other misdirected & delayed luggage in front of the Delta Baggage Claim (the only airline with a sea of luggage). But we eventually made our way to the ship and then the fun really did begin.

The ship was incredible (Sapphire Princess). It was beautiful, well maintained and the service was awesome from the beginning (the Homeland Security guy who was cranky about us not having passports doesn't count because he didn't work for the cruise line). Our luggage was being delivered when we got to the stateroom so we were able to unpack immediately and then collapse and relax. Our stateroom was well worth the extra $$ for the additional space. We had a nice balcony to relax on, a sitting area with a couch, chair and table and a decent sized bathroom with a bathtub. The first nice we were so tired we didn't feel like going down to dinner so we ordered some room service and didn't have to sit cross-legged on the bed to eat it. Then we settled in and watched the coastline drift by from our balcony.

Sunday was a day at sea so we bummed around the ship, did a little shopping and then hit the Casino before getting ready for dinner.

Every where we went along the trip was just gorgeous....the pictures just don't do it justice. Sunset was about 10pm each night and sunrise was before 4am. With the 4 hour time difference I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning and would grab my camera, go out on the balcony and curl up in chair. The temperature was actually comfortable even early in the morning.

Our first stop on the trip was Ketchikan where we got extrememly lucky on the weather. It only sprinkled a little bit while we were at the lumberjack show which apparently was incredible for a town that measures its rainfall in feet instead of inches. The town was a blend of the old and the new. Modern buildings here and there in a town that honored it's heritage and had rennovated a number of original buildings. The lumberjack show was a lot of fun. While the competition was a show, all the guys actually participate in real lumberjack competitions and I think that they are all crazy...someone should have told them you're not supposed to point sharp objects at yourself!

Our second stop was Juneau. I didn't realize before that Juneau is completely landlocked with access only via plane and ship. One of the guides on this day advised us that you can take the ferry to Skagway....it only takes three days and costs $800! We went to a Salmon bake and a Whale Quest while in Juneau. It took not even 10 minutes to get to the Salmon bake location and we were on the edge of the wilderness.

From there we were off to Skagway, which was golf day for the husband. The drive to the course was incredible although the guide/driver took years off my life with his 70+ mph up the winding mountains. It kind of made getting great pictures of the landscape a little tough--my camera doesn't have a setting for warp speed. We were paired up with a very nice couple from Wales on the golf course.

From there it was Glacier Bay and then College Fjord. It's no wonder that I took over a 1000 pictures on this trip!

I am ready to go back! And I hope to get some more pictures up soon! I have plenty!

A BIG Sigh of Relief

2007-06-22T19:58:00.000-05:00

You might have thought that my last post would have been the big sigh of relief since a solution to our traveling dilemma had been solved.....OH, if only that had been true. Yes, it was true that the U.S. Government had relaxed their rules for letting U.S. citizens back into the country. But that wasn't going to help us get out of the country. Our disembarkation point is Vancouver, B.C. and well, the Canadian government hasn't relaxed their rules. It's simple...you must have a U.S. Passport or a photo id, proof you applied for a passport and a certified copy of your birth certificate. If you've ever applied for a passport, you know that you submit your certified birth certificate with your application and in theory, you get it back when you get your passport. And how many certified copies of your birth certificate do you happen to have on hand?

Getting my birth certificate wasn't an issue....I live one county over from where I was born. It took me longer to find a parking space than it did to get through security, request my birth certificate, pay for it, get and return to my car. Not so easy for the hubby as he was not born one county over....he was born in New York. By NY state law, I am not actually allowed to request his birth certificate without a court order. To keep only one of us in panic mode, I enlisted the help of his mother who is entitled to a copy. She lives here, but thanks to the internet, we found a place online where she could order it....with delivery in 5 to 10 business days...with the clock ticking once the file was transmitted to the NY bureau who handles the request....(they tell you after the fact that the clock doesn't start ticking when you place the order). Worst case scenario, it would be due to arrive the day that we were due to leave. Now, doesn't that sound very good does it?

On the other front, I called the National Passport Agency to see about hurrying up the passports (kicking myself, again, for not paying that rush fee in the beginning). The first day that they would talk to me was this past Monday....something to do with how far behind they are that they are only dealing with people traveling within 14 days (Saturday is for traveling in 7 days only). I listened to 10 minutes of messages, then held for another 10 or 15 minutes and then thought that I had been disconnected when the hold music stopped. But I didn't get a dial tone or busy signal, so I kept holding until someone came on the line. I imagine that they are taking a lot of crap, but I got a really nice lady and was very nice in return...no use in pissing off someone who can help you now is there. Besides, she isn't personally responsible for this whole mess. I was ready to pay the rush fee, but wasn't required to do so since we'd been waiting so long. She put a "rush" on it and made note that we needed them by the 28th, but it wasn't exactly a promise.

In the meantime, my ability to sleep was on the fritz and I was doing a lot of tossing and turning, worrying and fretting. So this is what it's like to have a nervous breakdown? I checked the passport site regularly in hopes that they would show shipped as well as the website for the status of the birth certificate. This AM, after a fitfull night, I checked the status of the birth certificate and (insert scream of joy & thanks) it shipped yesterday. It was delivered to my mum-in-laws this morning and has since been delivered to us. So now, we really can travel...we are legal to get into Canada and to get back into the U.S. Now, I can let out a BIG sigh of relief and get a good nights sleep!

Listening to that Little Voice

2007-06-11T21:21:00.000-05:00

When we went to apply for our passports back in March, I had it in my mind when we walked in the door to just suck it up and pay the rush fee...that's what the little voice in my head was saying. But the very nice lady at the post office assured me that I would just be throwing my money away, that even with the delays, we still had plenty of time. Uh huh. And if they hadn't come two weeks before our trip, I could call then and pay the rush fee. I should have just paid the rush fee, we would have our passports by now and I would have saved myself a whole lot of worry....especially with the reports that the delays are getting longer. It is typical of our government to enact a new law or regulation that they can't actually support. Passports are now required for traveling to Mexico and Canada (our port of departure) and for flying back into the United States (although we're coming back from Anchorage....and how would we get out of the country anymore without the passport?). This led to a huge influx of passport applications, which someone should have seen coming, that the government can't process in a timely manner. I am not a math wizard....but someone, somewhere must have some idea of the number of individuals who would be affected by this and plan accordingly. I understand the idea behind the requirement and coughed up the money necessary for securing the documents without complaint. But I don't think anyone is going to pay us back for the $$ shelled out for this trip.

But someone came to their senses and decided that maybe something should be done to, at least in the short term, alleviate the situation. So now all you need is a government issued photo ID and proof that you've applied for a passport which is handily available through the website I've been neurotically checking to see if our passports have been processed. You'll still need about 4 weeks for that information to get into the system or you're out of luck, but fortunately, we're ahead on that score. I printed the information today just in case their website had some sort of terminal failure....just like the little voice in my head told me to.

Nuts!!!!

2007-06-07T20:26:00.000-05:00

If you read my post, "The Rundown", you might recall my displeasure over the decision of CBS to cancel one of my favorite shows, Jericho. Ok....I was really pissed off....I even wrote them an email insulting their intelligence (or lack thereof). Oh, if only I had thought of the nuts! After receiving about 50,000 pounds of nuts, CBS has decided to not pull the plug on the show, but order seven more episodes of the show as a mid-season replacement and give it another try. It's kind of funny that it's been reported that Jericho was their most watched show online, which, unless all the other shows are only getting watched about 25 times, should indicate to them some rather significant interest in the show.....but I digress.

If you watched the season finale of the show, you already know about the nuts. If not....indulge me while I catch you up. The finale includes a flashback in which the grandfather of two key characters is relating a story from WWII in which a German commander sends a note over to some trapped American troops asking for their surrender. The American commander sends back a note with a single word: Nuts! Which was an incredibly polite way of telling the German commander to go screw himself. As the finale draws to a close and the little town of Jericho is about to go to war with a neighboring town, the leader of the opposing forces asks Jake (one of the grandsons) to surrender to which he responds, "Nuts". Which was his incredibly nice way of telling the guy to go screw himself. So I guess the 50,000 pounds of nuts were the fans incredibly nice way of telling CBS to go screw themselves.

There's a post on the Jericho message boards on the CBS website announcing their plans to try and "salvage" the show. The P.S. to the message has a very simple request, "Please stop sending us nuts".

Today's Lunchtime Distraction

2007-06-05T12:23:00.001-05:00

I found this over at blackcrag's blog and thought it was just a hoot. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get the code into my blog without it showing all my sidebar stuff to the bottom and since I'm on lunch AND I'm not technically inclined, I'll just have to put it in here without all the links and stuff the code comes with.

How will you be defined in the dictionary:

Hope: A real life terminator

Slightly Controlled Chaos: A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

Happy Bunny Hope: A human transformer (robot in disguise)

There is so much I could probably say about this if I weren't on my lunch!

Lunchtime Distraction

2007-06-04T12:32:00.000-05:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

It has been noted that I do have a fine ability to "spin"!

The Rundown

2007-06-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I've been addicted to television. I've gone through times where there were only a couple of shows that I had to watch to what now feels like watching every damn thing that they put on! And I like the noise of television as I lack the ability to concentrate in silence, but somehow the radio or a CD just doesn't fit the bill. It helps being married to someone who shares the same addiction (which explains why there are two people and five televisions in the house). I hate when the power is out and I have to fall asleep in the silence instead of setting the timer and the t.v. going off after I've fallen asleep. And it sucks if I wake up in the middle of the night and have to try and fall back asleep (yes, I have been known to turn the t.v. back on and set the timer again). I guess that makes me a child of modern times. So here's watch I watch:

Heroes--The first couple of episodes of this show held great promise although it was apparent that show wasn't as good as it could be. Fortunately, it began to live up to it's promise. After the season finale of another favorite, Lost, I was amused at some of the message boards pitting the two shows against each other as if liking one precluded liking the other and listing how each show "failed" compared to the other. One of the biggest complaints against Heroes was it's rather tidy ending. Yes, there were questions left unanswered (Are Peter and Nathan dead? Is Matt going to make it? Is Sylar really, really dead? And who out there is a more evil villian than Sylar?), but the "main" story line resolved itself in preparation for the next challenge or impending doom. Well, that's the way the engineered this story and explains that a few minutes before the show wrapped for the season they boldly proclaimed "End Volume One" following by "Begin Volume Two". It seemed a simple enough concept for everyone to follow.....oh, that and the fact that they are entirely two different shows! Of course, the show begs the question: "Which power would you want to have?":o

Flying...No thanks, I'll pass
Ability to regenerate: Yes, this would be nice...a little creepy (Claire waking up during her autoposy), but very handy.
Reading Minds....Well, maybe. This could be a blessing and a curse. Really....do you want to know what everyone is thinking about you.
Communicating with Machines....Maybe I could finally get my computer to do what I wanted and the ability to get an ATM machine to just give you money....bonus.
Radioactivity...Yeah, think I'll be passing on this one as well.
Invisibility...Has possibilities.
Excelerated Learning & Memory....In the blessing & curse department. Some memories are really meant to fade.
Super, Super Strength...Not a bad choice, but I'd like mine without the split personality.
Phasing...It's cool to watch the guy on the show let a bullet pass through his body and to walk through walls, but it's not exciting.
Controlling Time & Space....Other than the fact that you could royally screw up life as we know it by altering the past, very cool.
Absorbing/Stealing abilities....Two characters could take on the powers of others...one by simple contact, the other by cutting open peoples heads and taking them (I'll go for absorbing, but it seems that you can't be picky about which powers...which means you end up being radioactive and possibly exploding).
Power to Heal....Very cool! But how do you save everyone?

24--The season started off well, but it was like they ended the main plot line too early and just began to meander. This is why I ended up with the last three hours being recorded while I watched the end of Heroes instead of watching 24 and catching up with Heroes later. If they do another season, the show still has enough cred that I'd give it another choice.

House--The medical mysteries are cool even if they write in "carryover" story lines that tend to go on too long. And you really shouldn't like the main character, but you do.....probably because he says things that the rest of wish we could! Not sure what I think about the way they ended the season and if it really means that they're about to recycle about 1/2 the show's cast.

Bones--Ok, if I miss episodes of this show, it doesn't really bother me...I'm not hunting someone to see what happened or trying to watch it online, but it's easy to watch, the story lines are typically interesting and I like the characters (well, all but one).

American Idol--I can't say it was the worst season of the show, because I haven't watched all of them....but it was the worst that I've seen. I was really disappointed that Melinda didn't win, but no one really captured me the way that they had in the past.

Lost--The beginning of this season was...well...dismal. There was a point that I wished that I could make myself stop watching it....and now I'm glad that I didn't give up on it. The first season may always be the most brilliant, but the end of this season got close to the feel and energy of that first season. I think the show will get better now that they've decided exactly how many more episodes that there are going to be. There won't be any unnecessary stalling and so forth trying to stretch it out longer that it needs to be. And they finally answered some questions without strings attached (strings being where they finally answer a question, but it doesn't actually answer anything). We know who the real Sawyer is (and I actually feel a little foolish for not figuring that one out) and what happened to all the Dharma Initiative people. I applaud them for telling the backstory of the leader of the "Others", Ben, and despite all that he suffered, leaving him a completely unsympathetic character. It's still easy to hate & mistrust him. I guess a killer twist would be for him to turn out to be the good guy, but it'd be a real stretch. If you've never watched the show, each episode is split into two stories...what's happening on the island right now and flashbacks that give you insight into the character...their past, their story and how they ended up on the fateful flight. In a stroke of genius, the flashback from the season finale ended up being a flashforward, but it was so well written that until they slap you in the face with it in the last two minutes of the show, you never see it coming. The first reaction is "OH MY GOD...it's the future" followed by "Why does Jack think his dad is alive?" Can't wait for the next season to start.

Jericho--Like Heroes, this show wasn't as good as it could be when it started. But with strong writing and performances, it fixed that in short order. It was dark (post-nuclear) tinged with humor and a stark portrayal of the best and the worst that human's can dish out when the chips are down. If I missed an episode of this show, I definately watched it online so I'd be ready for the next episode. And the finale was incredible with a real cliff hanger. And yes, when the commericals said you'd never guess who was going to die...they were right. It would have only been more surprising if they had killed off Jake (Skeet Ulrich) or the guy with the nuclear weapon hidden in his garage. And then CBS goes and cancels the show so like two other previous favorites of mine (Invasion & Surface) you get these HUGE season finales and that is all. Of the three, this is the worst cancellation and even CBS says it was probably their fault by interrupting the season to try something else (an annoying habit a lot of the networks, etc have picked up).

Shark--Frankly, I'm not a James Woods fan and when the show started, he's why I didn't watch it, but somehow I ended up watching 1/2 a show one Thursday and found that it was actually a really good show with some solid acting (including Mr. Woods).

Stargate SG-1--Well, it's not the show it once was, but I'll be there until the end (which is a handful of episodes away). When the show lost Michael Shanks for a season, it was a huge blow to the show (no offense to Parker Lewis Can't Lose's Corin Nemac...I liked him as Parker, but never warmed to him on this show) that was fortunately corrected. But when Richard Dean Anderson all but left the show (a cameo here and there), it was pretty much cutting the show's heart out. To make it worse, they brought in Ben Browder who portrayed pretty much the exact same character as he did on Farscape (worked better there) and his Farscape co-star Claudia Black. I like her, but they saddled her with the most annoying role in recent history. So, it probably is time to say goodbye.

Stargate Atlantis--With all the changes to it's parent show, this has become the better show, but I don't think it will ever be as good as Stargate once was.

Returning soon:

The Closer--Glad that this show is getting another summer season...very clever, very well-written and a flawed main character make for good t.v.

Eureka--Quirky, fun Science Fiction...can't wait.

The 4400--I worried that this show might not make it back, but thankfully it does seem to be returning.

New:

The Starter Wife--I didn't LOVE the show, but it's good enough to give more of a chance. Some of the shows characters just grate on your nerves....people so shallow and empty it ought to be legal to put them down. But I love Debra Messing so it'll be worth rolling the dice on.

The Dresden File---On the surface, I should love this show, but I manages to just like it. Not sure when (if) Sci-Fi is putting it back on, but chances are good I'll watch it (unless it's against Heroes or Lost).

Ousted?

Medium--I really liked this show, but it lost out when Lost moved opposite it. Hope they move it to a new slot...maybe Wednesdays at 8:00PM since Jericho got cancelled....

So for what's it worth, there it is. I wonder what a person's t.v. viewing habits says about them......................

One of Those Stories That Are Funny When It's Not Happening to You!

2007-05-31T16:06:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent me a link regarding something rather humorous that happened to them. And in the spirit of sharing a good laugh, I'm sharing it with you: http://www.calloffate.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=47337

Hope you get a good laugh!

Tag, I'm it!

2007-05-29T07:13:00.000-05:00

Dagoth was kind of enough to "tag" me with a meme despite my long absence from the blogging world! So here are the rules of being tagged by this meme.

* Post a similar post like this one and add a link back to the person who tagged you.
* List 5 reasons why you blog about the things you blog on your blog.
* Choose your 5 tag ‘victims’ and tag them nicely.
* Write a comment on their blog letting them know that you tagged them.

So here are my 5 reasons about why I blog about the things I blog about or why I blog at all:

1) Because I can!

2) I like the informality of the blogging world....well at least a good part of it...there are "famous" blogs out there where people really dedicate a lot of time in getting their blog just right, are speaking for or against something, using it as a vehicle of some sort for something rather important or relevant. For me, the blog generally lets me off the hook for all those things. I can just sit down and write something, anything just so I can be writing but can do without obsessing over exactly how it sounds...is it good prose, etc? I can just vent about something that bothers me without the worry of am I getting it right. There are things on my blog, that I'm very proud of (the poems), but I don't spend endless (read pretty much no) time editing my posts and so on.

3) I like dropping by my favorite blogs and seeing what my blogging friends are up to and I like them dropping by my blog and checking in. It's unlikely that I'll meet most of the people who come by to "see" me (the obvious exceptions are those I already knew who drop on by). But that's okay...they're still my friends. I like the stories and pictures that they share and I miss them when they're absent for a long time. I find it very cool that people from all over the world stop by even when it's just to say hello...or where have you been??

4) I've always liked writing. I don't have nearly enough time to dedicate to writing so blogging gives me an outlet to at least write something. I like being able to just run on about whatever is on my mind and it's satisfying when I do write something that I'm proud of and it's nice when someone stops by and they appreciate it as well.

5) Anyone who knows me, knows that I generally always have something to say...and it's good to have a place and go say it.....whatever it happens to be.

Now, on to the tagging portion of this post:

Angela

Missy

Blackcrag

Heidi

Spider Girl

So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this small distraction in life!

What's Been Going On

2007-05-27T07:31:00.000-05:00

Wow......has it really been that long since my last post? Ok...yes, yes....it really has. At first...I was trying to ponder what to write for the big "100" post (although for reasons I am sure that I will never figure out, blogger double posted my last post and now thinks this is post 101). Should I write something politically or socially relevant or maybe I'll finally come up with a new poem? It seemed momentous that I had reached (although it took me longer than I thought) my 100th post. Well, felllow bloggers, instead of something inspriring, you get a "catch-up" post. (Which I in in way, shape or form claim is going to be either brilliant or interesting!).

While I was doing all this pondering, I was assigned to a new multi-divisional team. The short of this means a lot more work. First came the three day trip to the sales conference in Sarasota. I now know what their aiport looks like and saw the water from the hotel room. Work-related trips tend to be a big of a drag since you rarely get to see anything outside of the hotel (since we have our meetings where we stay). You might get to have a meal that isn't at the hotel (we had dinner 3 miles from the hotel) so even if there are wonderful sights to be seen they go unseen by us. Then there was the almost two day trip to Boston (up one morning, back the next evening) so I almost got to see the Boston airport. I got myself up & to the airport before the butt crack of dawn and managed to make it to the plane where at take-off time we were still sitting at the gate with the door open. Looking around, the plane is full so they aren't making us wait for some last minute person to run up the stairs and find their seat. After a host of people come off and on the plane huddling in the cockpit, someone finally tells us that there is a small mechanical problem (a light isn't working) and that instead of making us wait on the plane, we're unloading and going back in (this was in the post-Jet Blue Valentines week debaucle....we actually took Jet Blue to New York and it was great so I was sad to hear that they had such terrible issues) and even though they anticipated a very small delay they would start working on alternate connections just in case. They were very effeciently working on those who had the earliest connections (and I'm actually not being sarcastic) while waiting for the mechanic and were almost up to me when the mechanic showed up.....where he proceeded to begin taking larger sections of the plane apart....flight cancelled. And there were so few connections and remaining spots, that it became useless to even attempt to go. The bottom line...work has had me very busy trying to manage all my new duties along with the ones that I already had.

Then came the parental situation. My mother "tripped" over an extension cord and hurt her leg one Friday evening. She refused to go the emergency room, preferring the urgent care center which meant waiting until Saturday. They did an x-ray to discover that she had broken her leg at some point (though she has no clue when it happened as she was never treated for a break) but couldn't tell what was wrong with her leg now. This meant waiting until Tuesday to see the Bone & Joint doctor's who agreed that the x-ray didn't show anything and scheduled her for a CAT scan on Thursday. On Wednesday, we found out that she never tripped. Her neighbor was with her when she "tripped" and came over while my brother was at the house and said that she just stood up and the leg gave way....why she felt the need to tell us that she tripped when she didn't....who knows. Her neighbor, and friend, used to be a nurse and heard my mother coughing while talking to my brother and said that we needed to take her to the ER. So my brother and I spent the night in really uncomfortable chairs, getting really aggravated with the way these things work. They decided that they wanted to admit her (her O2 level was about 80 and her BP was around 85/58), but that they couldn't...her regular doctor had to do it (?????). They don't do admitting in the middle of the night, but use a different practice to handle that.....so after they got there, asked her the same 1000 questions for like the 100th time, they admitted her into the Heart Tower saying she had heart failure. So nothing could be done about her leg and after 5 days in the HT they decided she didn't have heart failure, but that between the leg trauma and the lung infection, her heart became stiff from all the work. So they finally manage to do the surgery on her leg, move her to the rehab hospital where she gets an infection and is sent back to the hospital (another night in the ER) where she stays for several days, then back to the rehab hospital and eventually home (after about 45 days) where she's still taking PT. Whew....

In the meantime, we still have her dog. An 11 pound mini-schnauzer that's blind in one eye, has a heart murmer, a skin condition and an issue with incontinence. She has cut down on how much she chews on our dog's ears, but the cat is still pissed off. And my mother spends 1/2 her time worrying that her dog won't remember who she is.....so I arrange visits when possible so the little dog can remember where her home really is.

So I've been busy with a lot of necessary, but not necessarily fun or interesting things. But such is life sometimes.

On the up side, I am getting very excited about finally getting to take our honeymoon! And we're taking the trip I have always wanted to take for my honeymoon...an Alaskan cruise. For as long as I can remember having a preference about this I've said, "If I ever get married, I'm taking an Alaskan Cruise and if my husband wants to come, well that'll be nice, too." We leave here on 6/29 for Seattle with my sister driving us to Vancouver the next day to hop aboard the big boat for our cruise! And now, there will be all the planning for that, but that's planning that I will very much be looking forward to!

The Big City

2007-02-15T20:28:00.001-05:00

For some reason when I was a kid I had this irrational fear that the world would end if I went to NYC. I don't know how this notion got into my head....some story that I heard, some book I read or some movie that I watched....who knows. Well, I made it NYC and as far as I can tell, the world didn't end.

The sweet sixteen party we went to was great fun (I even got the hubby to slow dance) and everyone seemed to have a good time. Where I come from, turning 16 didn't get a huge party (or maybe not even a small one), but this is New York that we're talking about! Lots of good music, lots of good food and lots of good people having fun!

And we actually made it into the city! It was a whirlwind trip, but it was great fun! We took the train into Penn Station and walked to the Empire State Building and ponied up the $18 a person to go to the 86th floor. The view and the perspective from up there are fabulous. From there we walked to Saint Patrick's Cathedral (proof that humans can produce something other than creative ways to kill each other), by Rockerfeller Center and the ice skaters, by Radio City Music Hall & into Times Square before taking the train back to have dinner with the rest of the family.

Now that I'm fairly certain the world won't actually end, I'd love to go back....see a Broadway show, catch a baseball game in historic Yankee Stadium, take a buggy ride through central park, go to FAO Schwartz and play on the giant keyboard and about a thousand other things!

The Big City

2007-02-15T20:28:00.000-05:00

Chicken Enchiladas

2007-01-23T20:33:00.000-05:00

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
1 (14.5 ounce) can stewed tomatoes
12 small chile peppers, diced (optional)
1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth
1 bunch green onions, chopped
1/2 pint heavy cream
6 (6 inch) corn tortillas
3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
1 (10 ounce) can enchilada sauce

Cut chicken breasts into 1 inch strips. Place in a medium bowl with desired marinade, and marinate in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute chicken and onions until chicken is evenly brown. Stir in diced tomatoes with green chile peppers, stewed tomatoes, chile peppers, soup and broth. Bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat, cover skillet, and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear.

Remove chicken from skillet, and shred when cool enough to handle. Meanwhile, allow skillet mixture to simmer and reduce to about 2 1/4 cups. In a medium bowl, combine shredded chicken and about 1/4 cup skillet mixture (just enough to make a paste like mixture). Mix together with half the chopped green onions. Pour remaining 2 cups of skillet mixture into a 9x13 inch baking dish.

In a second skillet, heat cream over low heat, being careful not to boil. Dip tortillas in the warm cream to soften and coat. Spoon about 1/3 cup chicken mixture onto each tortilla. Top chicken mixture with half the shredded cheese, and roll up tortillas. Place rolled tortillas in baking dish, seam side down, and drizzle with enchilada sauce. Cover with remaining shredded cheese, and sprinkle remaining chopped green onion over cheese. Bake uncovered in preheated oven for 25 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbling.

Notes: You do not need overly large chicken breasts. The stores tend to package chicken with huge breasts. I ended up making 10 enchiladas and shoving them in the pan and still had tons of chicken left. I also used tomatoes with hot red peppers and didn't use the individual peppers and it turned out to have a good kick! As I said in a previous post this took a lot longer to fix than I had anticipated so this will now be a weekend recipe!

Finally.....Chili Weather

2007-01-21T20:06:00.000-05:00

We've had a very mild winter until the past week when the temperatures finally began to dip and show some actual signs of winter!! I am much more a cold weather person than a hot weather person (especially if it involves a lot of humidity) and I love making a big pot of chili with all the spices that I can pack in and still make it edible. So it was with a great deal of joy that I put on a large pot of chili this morning and began concocting like a mad scientist with the various tools of destruction at my disposal. One thing I've learned over the years is that I never make any two batches of chili that are exactly the same. I use basically the same ingredients, but somehow, each batch is unique. I've also learned that for some reason, my first batch each year, isn't all that great. Luckily this is the second batch (the first was my attempt to make the weather get cold enough for chili). And I will also eat enough chili to almost make me sick...I just can't stop eating it. I was that way as a kid as well....me and my brother would take to doctoring my daddy's chili (because it was never hot enough) and then we would gorge ourselves until we could barely move and then lay around until we had digested enough to have another helping. For the first time, I tried chili in a bread bowl today. It was quite tasty, but so much bread that you got full too fast on the bread! I won't make that mistake again...because it really should be just all about the chili! And as soon as I can breath again I think I'll have nother bowl.

Happy New Year

2007-01-06T12:10:00.000-05:00

Ok....so I'm a bit late with the Happy New Year greeting! But all the same, I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas with their loved ones & that the new year is off to a great start for everyone. I'm a bit sad that the holidays are over and that our decorations have been taken down. If only we could remember to spread the joy of the holidays throughout the whole year!! So many of the holidays fall toward the end of the year that once you get past New Year's its a long haul until the next one. At least for one that we get off & get paid for....for me that is...the next one isn't until Memorial Day!

I am getting a day off next month...woo hoo! A niece on hubby's side is celebrating her 16th birthday next month so we are off to New York to be part of the festivities! We'll only be there a couple of days...arriving Friday morning and leaving Sunday afternoon, but I am hoping that we'll get to go into the city on Saturday and see some genuine NYC sites! I've never been and who knows when/if they'll be another opportunity so it would be great, even if it is a whirlwind tour!

Hits & Misses

2006-12-16T22:02:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know that I like to cook and that I enjoy trying new recipes. I've gotten a few off a site that I've used a lot in the past and whose reviews are usually accurate. I've tried three new recipes in the past two weeks with some disappointing results.

The first was a new recipe for beef stew. Now hubby will eat pretty much anything, but isn't a huge fan of beef stew. I, however, love a good beef stew. I found a recipe called "Autumn Beef Stew" and thought that I would give it a try. Really wish I hadn't. It was bland and boring. I wasn't looking forward to the leftovers.

The second was for chicken enchiladas and although it was a lot more work than I anticipated, it turned out to be an excellent dish. I made one modification using tomatoes with hot peppers instead of the green chiles. I'll make it again one day....just not on a week night.

The third was one I made tonight....Italian Style Round Steak. Yeah, won't be adding this one to the keep list. It wasn't as bad as the beef stew, but I still can't say that I'm excited about the leftovers.

My next challenge is to try and make dressing for Christmas dinner. We're having ham, so instead of stuffing, there'll be dressing. My mother usually makes it, but we decided to divide up the cooking duties this year. Which I don't mind, but for some reason I'm intimidated by making dressing. Not really sure why...but I guess I'd better get over it and find a recipe (which hopefully will be better than some of the recent new recipes). And just in case it sucks, my deviled eggs better be exceptionally good!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2006-12-10T19:27:00.000-05:00

I really do think that this is the most wonderful time of the year! Even though I sometimes get quite stressed by the shopping and the crowds, I love picking out a gift that I just know the person receiving it is going to love! I love getting out all the Christmas decorations and trimming the tree (our stocking are hung by the chimney with care), putting out all my Christmas snow globes (with little blowers that move the snow around without any shaking...this is very important because they're made with a place for a tealight candle to sit in the top so picking them up to shake isn't a good idea). I love wrapping the presents and putting them under the tree. I love finding gifts my name on them and giving them a shake (one day I'm probably going to break something)! I love the cookies and the treats. And I love happy faces on Christmas day unwrapping presents in a flurry. I love getting Christmas cards and decorating all the shelves in the kitchen with them. I love turning on the Christmas lights and lighting all the candles and sitting in their warm glow. I love the Christmas Eve service and the warm feeling of friends and family gathered around. If we could only take all that love, happiness, joy and peace of the season and make it last the whole year round!

Wishing all of you out there in Blogland, a VERY MERRY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS!

I'm Fine

2006-11-11T21:55:00.000-05:00

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine" asked the>>lawyer?

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I hadjust loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question? Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine!"?

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said "How are you feeling?"

Now what would you say?"

The Big Day

2006-10-25T07:19:00.000-05:00

After months of planning and plenty of stress, I managed to get married this past Saturday! And in case you're wondering, we're not honeymooning until next year so I am not blogging from some exotic locale!

Thursday and Friday were busy with errands and deliveries. A trim of the bangs and getting my nails done, renting the kegs and delivering everything to the reception site (everything it turned out except the cameras for the tables....remembered these on Saturday while talking to another friend who was being the photographer!)

The rehearsal was Friday night and while setting up the unity candle set that I was sure came with the tapers and the actual unity candle we realized that there were no actual tapers with the set. This meant a trip to Wal-Mart after the rehearsal dinner to get the tapers. A minor crisis, but to the harried bride...there do not seem to be any monor crisises! And at some point later, I realized that the instructions for when I was supposed to give my bouquet didn't make sense. How was I supposed to turn and hold both of David's hands while still holding my bouquet. A mental note to ask the wedding directors the next day.

The rehearsal dinner was very nice and my brother made me cry...in a good way. If you've been reading my blog for awhile you know that my father passed away several years ago so my brother got the honor of walking me down the aisle and giving the toast at the rehearsal dinner. He was a bit nervous and apparently he forgot part of it, but it was very sweet. And when he teared up, I thought that I would really lose it. But all the tears were happy ones.

I woke up at 5:30 the next morning....not reall all that surprising...I hadn't slept well for the two weeks before that. I made myself lay there and doze until about 8:30 before all the fuss and frenzy of the day began. I took a nice long soak in the tub in the morning to try and get myself relaxed. The day was actually going very well until the makeup lady took 1/2 hour longer than planned. I was a bit like a chicken with my head cut off after that trying to get myself back on schedule....cursing the extra me time that I had taken that morning...and flittering through the house like a hummingbird on speed trying to get myself back on schedule. One of my good friends, who happens to also be my hairdresser, came out and gussied me and three of my girls up. I wrote out checks for the vendors who needed to be paid, made sure that my bag was packed and that I had everything I needed to take the church...finding a chain for the jewelry that my sister-in-law loaned me. And then off to check in and drop my car off at the B&B that we were staying at. I felt much better once we got to the church and were were mostly on schedule. My friend doing the photography had a delay getting to the church since he had to replace the tripod he had discovered was broken. This got me a little rattled because we wanted to get as many pictures done before the wedding and before guests started showing up. Then we were back on schedule again and I was feeling much better.

The church has a room for us to get ready in, but with the heat on it was like a mini sauna. It was rather funny when one of our friends, who was keeping my company while the girls were taking pictures reached up and turned on the ceiling fan! There we were...me, four bridesmaids and my hairdresser (I hate calling her that because she's more friend than hairdresser) and other family members in and out all complaining about the heat and not one of us noticed the ceiling fan.

I was actually much calmer than I thought I would be. The closest I came to having a meltdown came when my brother (who forgot he had to come get me after escorting our mother in during the rehearsal) and I were getting ready to leave the room and make our way to the sanctuary. I looked down and realized that my father's wedding band was coming untied. My father's wedding band was serving as my something old and as a small way for him to be there, walking me down the aisle (I still get teary just thinking about that). We tied it to my bouquet and the tie was coming undone. My brother quickly assured me that it was under control and got it tied back, but the thought that I might have lost it almost pushed me over the edge.

The church has a set of double doors that leads into a large open area before you go into the sanctuary. When we walked into that room I started to tear up...my brother, the rock told me "Don't start that now!" I needed a good voice of reason at that moment. The wall seperating the sanctuary from that roam is glass and has a frosted/etched scene on it. I could see my handsome groom through the top part and as the music started and we walked into the sanctuary, I could see David tear up. It might sound strange, but that was a beautiful moment. My brother also had to keep me from sprinting down the aisle. Everyone told me that it feels like you're only up there for 5 minutes and then its over. I know that the ceremony was longer than 5 minutes...but they were all right...it's like a blur....it just rushes by. And we managed to get through it without setting the church on fire while lighting the unity candles and without me doing a flop out while doing the kneeling bench. Between nerves and the heat of the church, my fingers were swollen and I had to send word before the ceremony that he would have to put my ring on my pinky finger....I barely got my engagment ring off to give to Amy beforehand. He remembered and it all went well. And then before we knew it, it was over. And when we got to the end of the aisle one of the wedding directors informed me that I had forgotten my bouquet! This lead to some issues for the girls....they didn't carry flowers, but candleholders that we had made....so Amy ended up with two candleholders which made it difficult for Jesse to escort her out! But all in all....a small thing compared to what could have happened!

After leaving the sanctuary, we were to go down a small hallway and outside to wait for the guests to go on to the reception before we finished the pictures. At the end of the hall, David gave me a big hug, told me that he loved me and that I was beautiful (this also makes me teary when I recount it). It wasn't just a beautiful moment....it was a perfect moment!

During the picture taking, I kept sending people out to see if our limo had arrived. I was starting to worry because everyone kept telling me that it wasn't there. Turns out, a limo was there, but it was the wrong limo and nobody wanted to tell me. When we were getting ready to leave, David asked me if I had rented two limos. Uh....no. There were two limos...one a modern, white clunky thing and then the one that I had actually reserved.....a 1948 Windsor Bridal Limo....which was just too cool. The limo we rented was running late so they had sent another limo....just in case. And they let us use the second limo to take people to the reception at no cost.

A lot of the reception is a blur as well....I will always treasure our first dance, David dancing with his mom and me with my brother. But you don't get a lot of food at the reception! You want to make sure that you get around to see everyone and that everyone is having a good time! It took more social skills than I actually thought that I had! But I managed and I hope I did make it to everyone.

I'm sure that I've left out like a 1000 details, but thats okay! At the end of the day all that matters is that we were surrounded by friends and family (many who deserve a thank you that can never be fully expressed....like my bridesmaids who are so dear to my heart, and everyone who helped us finally get there) and we managed to marry the person we love with all our heart!

Missing Blogland

2006-10-19T07:50:00.000-05:00

With just a couple of days left to the big day and with a couple days off from work to try and get all the last minute details taken care of, I thought I'd take a moment to post! I have to say even with everything going on, I do miss getting the chance to blog......waiting for the bits of nothing to turn into something. And I've missed the chance to drop by my favorite blogs and see what is going on with everyone.
I've been up to my eyeballs with all the planning and it has been both a joy and a nerve jangling experience....even planning a modest wedding is more work than you think it will be. I have managed to keep bridezilla in check for the most part....she's only peeked out a couple of times! I really don't want to be a bridezilla making everyone around me miserable...this is, after all, supposed to be happy occassion!
I hope all the planning and sweating the details pays off and that everyone has a wonderful time and that I don't do anything like pass out during the ceremony! Of course, if something is going to happen and I have to choose between getting sick or passing out during the ceremony...I think I'll take passing out!

The Countdown

2006-10-09T20:42:00.000-05:00

Well....less than two weeks until the big day! And I just hope to get through it without forgetting anything or having a nervous breakdown! I feel like I have a million things to do, but I probably really don't.....but it sure feels like it. I lost one pair of earrings that I bought on Saturday for the girls to wear and I can't find the recent to exchange the one that is missing a piece (never mind that I need four pairs and need to go shopping at other branches of the store to find two, no three...wait four pairs). I have no idea how I managed to lose it, but I also can't find the receipts I took out of my wallet on Saturday before going out. I'm sure that they around here somewhere...I just don't know where! I think the stress is really getting me! But it will soon be over and I hope that all the planning will have been worth it! And then maybe I can blog more than once a month and get back in touch with my creative side!!

I Belong to the Winter

2006-10-09T20:37:00.000-05:00

You Belong in Winter

Quiet, calm, and totally at peace...You're happy to be at home, wrapped in a blanket, completely snowed inWhether you're lighting a fire or having a snowball fight, you always feel best in the winter.

What Season Are You?

W.Y.B.

2006-09-17T15:17:00.000-05:00

First, I should say...I like and have a great deal of respect for my current boss. I can't say that about every boss I've ever had. But if you're feeling like you've got some pent up hostility that you'd like to take out in a safe way, try this instead of some of the other options out there.

Where Does The Time Go?

2006-09-17T14:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I've managed a post! I was going to post one night but I got extremely aggravated trying to post comments to beta sites (with no success) and just ended up giving up on blogger for the evening. I've thought about posting at least a dozen times with some of the random thoughts (most of which now elude me) I was having at the time, but I either don't have the time or the energy (yes, it is sad that I lacked the basic energy required for typing!). And I've terribly missed visiting all my favorite blogs and see what is going on with everyone.

I haven't signed up for the new beta version of blogger and I will probably only go on to the new version when I'm forced to do so. One of our IT guys at works refers to upgrades as "taking a system that works and turning it one that doesn't". I remember when we got our new primary system. It was a nightmare. Before they started programming they were nice enough to ask for our feedback, but it wasn't enough. One of my suggestions was that whoever was going to be programming should learn how we lowly end users actually used the system before they went to work. Later, MUCH later (as in after it was too late), a guy from the team said that they should have done as I had suggested. And I did a lot of beta testing when they rolled the system out. Everyone but me got the best, most stable (and I use that term very loosely) and I got the latest beta version of the system. I seemed to have some sort of special gift....if there was a bug in the system, I was going to be the one who found it. After days of pulling my hair out, cursing the system, and pounding on my keyboard they would take all my feedback and use it it put out a better version of the system and then give me the next beta version. My productivity was at an all time low. When you're doing something that should take 10 minutes and it takes 90 minutes (and that doesn't include all the time I spent documenting), you tend to be a little on edge and become a huge promoter of workplace violence. This was one of the times that it was lucky for all involved that the primary architects of the system lived 3,000 miles away. It made impetuous, revenge killings unlikely.

As for everything else, life is divided neatly into two things: Work and Wedding. If I'm not worried or doing something for one, I'm doing something for the other....and usually worrying about both. We're short staffed at work right now for two reasons: we have one person out on maternity leave in one group and the work load for another group has tripled while the number of people have remained the same. There are lots of things that need my attention, but most of them aren't getting it. It's really a case of which fire is the biggest and trying to help the groups wherever I can and trying to keep the stress for everyone else as low as I can. Some days it doesn't feel like I help very much, but I do what I can. The Wedding will be here before I know it and I'm terrified that I'm going to forget something major! And I'm constantly amazed about how stressed out you can get about something that really isn't all that important! But such is life.

I'll try not to be such a stranger in blogland, but don't give up on me if the posts are less frequently until after the wedding!

Things That Annoy

2006-09-02T21:17:00.000-05:00

I'm tired and I feel like complaining, so here are some things that annoy me:

1) T.V. shows that just stop. Two shows from last season that ended on huge cliffhangers and whose return I've been awaiting have been cancelled with no more new episodes (Invasion & Surface). Next thing you know, Lost will be unceremoniously ended without any resolution.

2) People who don't understand how to use the turn lane. It's there for you to get into PRIOR to needing to turn to keep you from screwing with the rest of traffic. Don't slow down in the fast lane and then just cut across the turn lane when you get to where you need to turn.

3) People who pull out in front of you (especially when it's clear for miles behind you) and then either a) suddenly need to go slow after just achieving warp speed to pull in front of you or 2) go 15 feet, slam on their brakes and turn.

4) People who tailgate. This is especially annoying when you're already going 20 miles over the speed limit. Also very annoying when the car in front of you is holding you up and you can't get around them either. Guess what? Getting on my tail and flashing your lights isn't going to make the guy in front of me go any faster.

5) The person, who when you're talking, always has a better story than the one you're telling. No matter what you've done or experienced, they always have a story where their experience is better/worse/whatever. You can never share anything that they don't have to achieve one upsmanship.

6) People who think that they're better than you.

7) The cable going out in the middle of your favorite show or right as something important is about to be revealed.

8) Insomnia.

9) Discovering that there is no chocolate in the house (okay this is more tragedy than annoyance).

10) Close talkers. Sorry, but I need a certain amount of personal space. This is really annoying when it's someone you either don't know or don't know well....especially in business because it's even harder to tell them to get the (bleep) out of your space.

Okay--I'm sure that there are tons more things that annoy me, but I'm more tired than cranky now, so I'm going to bed.

Cyborg Name Generator

2006-08-30T21:47:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Dagoth for this one!

In the South, You Can Fry Anything

2006-08-30T21:29:00.000-05:00

I think I clarified a little while back that I make a poor southerner...please see my "confession" if you have any doubts. On the list of things that southerners are supposed to be renowned for is the obsession with frying, especially deep frying, well, pretty much anything. I confess, I love fried chicken. I think that I've actually cooked fried chicken one time. It was, as I recall, a horrible pain in the a**. For the most part, I bake or grill and even my "frying" is really more of a saute. I nearly threw up when I heard about deep fried pickle. (Ok, I don't like pickles to begin with....but please....deep fried?) Where I live, the Wednesday edition of the paper always includes recipes.....and in case you needed proof about how, in the south, you really can fry anything, here it is:

Fried Oreos

1 14 oz package original Oreo cookies
Peanut oil or vegetable oil for deep frying
2 c. all purpose baking four, such as Bisquick or buttermilk pancake mix
1 1/4 c. ice water
Confenctioners sugar

Freeze oreos in package for at least two hours
Just before serving, pour at least 4 inches of oil in a large sturdy pot suitable for deep frying and heat to 350 degrees.
Take cookie package out of freezer. Open package and place the frozen cookies on a baking sheet near frying pot.
While oil heats, mix batter. Whisk baking mix and ice water together in a large bowl until smooth but without overworking the batter.
Dip cookies, one at a time, into the batter and slip into oil.
Cook for 1 to 2 minutes, dunking as needed with tongs, until golden brown. Remove with tongs, dust immediately with sugar and serve.
Eat right away, but be careful of the molten center.

If anyone tries this, you'll have to let me know how it turns out.

The Return

2006-08-24T20:34:00.000-05:00

Back from vacation and to the daily grind.................

On the first day of vacation it's like....ah, a whole week to do nothing, to relax and to enjoy. The next thing you know...you're packing up to go home. How does that happen????

The place we stayed was to tacky as Disney is to happy and the mattress sucked so I can't say I got a great deal of rest! But being away from work, my stress level definitely went down!! A few drinks didn't hurt, either! Most days there was no hurry to get up and go do anything. We did La Grande Cirque which required getting up and getting out around 9:00AM. The day trip to Charleston required getting up really early...4:45AM! But it was a good day. Tried a couple of new restaurants and was lazy, lazy, lazy.

Then there's the return to reality....to work. Only 981 unread e-mails awaited along with a proposal response that somehow didn't worked on while I was gone. Yep, the post vacation trauma in full force! Is it time to go on vacation again??

Approaching Vacation

2006-08-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

Ah....vacation. Sweet, sweet, vacation!

Time for the annual beach vacation trip with the man's family. Frankly, I am not a beach person. I don't like to be hot and since I can just about get a sunburn by simply thinking about the sun.......................but what is important is that I won't be at work!! I can sleep LATE! I don't have to be anywhere at any particular time and I can lounge around all day in my jammies if I please. I also will be without laptop so there won't be any postings during vacation time (no tears, please!) But I plan on plenty of shopping (mostly window) and maybe a *few* mixed beverages.

So early Sunday morning we will pack up the car, jump in the car and drive...about 20 miles for breakfast! And then onward to the beach.............................................

Template Trauma

2006-08-07T20:28:00.000-05:00

For the last couple of weeks, I have been periodically trying to make changes to my template. If I so much as delete something...the sidebar drops to the bottom. If I try to add something...same thing. If I copy and paste directly over a link with something new...yep, you guessed it....straight to the bottom it goes. I haven't a clue why it's doing that, but it is really getting on my last nerve. I want to make changes!!!!!!!! Anyone else out there so afflicted?

Quiche Me!

2006-08-04T21:13:00.000-05:00

Chicken Enchilada Quiche

1 refrigerated pie crust (from 15 oz box), softened as directed on box

4 eggs
1 cup half-and-half or milk
1 can (12.5oz) chunk chicken breast in water, drained (1 1/2 cups)
1 1/2 c broken tortilla chips
2 c. shredded Monteray Jack Cheese (8 oz)
1 c. shredded Cheddar Cheese
1 c. Thick n Chunky Salsa
1 can (4.5 oz) chopped green chiles
1/2 tsp salt
Pepper to taste

Sour cream and extra salsa if desired

1) Heat oven to 350 degrees. In 9 or 9 1/2 inch glass deep-dish pie pan, please pie crust as directed on box for One-Crust Filled Pie.
2) In a medium bowl with wire whisk, beat eggs until blended, beat in half-and-half. Stir in chicken, chips, both cheeses, salsa, green chiles and salt. Pour into pie crust-lined pan. Sprinkle pepper over top of filling.
3) Bake 55 to 65 minutes or until crust is lightly golden and knife inserted into center comes out clean. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Cut into wedges and serve with sour cream and salsa if you'd like.

I was really pleased with this recipe...but next time...I'm using HOT salsa instead of medium.

Uncertain

2006-08-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

I rest in silence and angry sleep,
wounds deep, bitter and unclean,
twisting inside my skin,
uncertain memories torment me,
tearing with their terrible claws,
rampant in my quivering soul,
savage beast creeping,
in the dark corners,
the undisovered parts of me,
spriraling into the horizon,
the distant land, desperate
I grasp at fleeting truths,
beyond my reach, last chance
to undo and free myself.

It's A Pirates Life For Me

2006-08-02T21:27:00.000-05:00

My pirate name is:

Red Anne Rackham

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Passion is a good part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Thanks, Dagoth, for posting this bit of fun!!

The Deep

2006-08-02T21:19:00.000-05:00

My heart shall split open,
a tender vessel upon the reef,
I find myself, soul adrift,
prisoner of the open sea,
the sudden eclipse robs me
of all truth and dream,
drowning me in the cold and deep,
and left me to an endless sleep.

Linked

2006-07-30T20:43:00.000-05:00

A while back I talked about how great it was to see where the different people who had visited my blog hailed from. Another thing that I find really great is to visit a blog and find that I've been "linked". I just love visiting another blog and finding out that the blog owner liked my blog enough to add me to their links, their blogs of note! I have to admit, I haven't been feeling particularly noteworthy lately, but I hope I don't get unlinked before that turns around! Thanks to everyone who linked me on their blog...it means a lot to me!

More Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

2006-07-29T21:02:00.000-05:00

Okay--well, I am still feeling about as creative as your average vegetable...so today I will be rambling on about some of my favorite movies. And since I could go on and on and on about movies in general, I will try to limit myself to some of my favorite classic movies.

The Manchurian Candidate. There was a time when I wouldn't be caught dead watching a black and white movie. But many moons ago, when extended cable wasn't as extended as it is today, I was stuck with nothing to watch and decided to give this movie a go. It turned out to be an awesome movie and forever ended my snobbery against black and white movies. The movie was a political landmine when it was released, playing on all the fears that Americans had about "the enemy". Stands the test of times. And despite the excellent cast of the remake, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. You could just tell that it wouldn't be the same.(Frank Sinatra, Janet Leigh, Laurence Harvey, Angela Landsbury)

The Day the Earth Stood Still. Another movie spawned by fear...this of nuclear weapons. The special effects are nothing compared to what we see today, but so what....it's still a good movie. And "Klattu barada nikto" has made its way into latter day culture...quoted in Army of Darkness for one. And its overly simple look and right and wrong, good and evil are somehow refreshing instead of trite. And Gort rocks! (Michael Rennie, Patricia Neal)

Harvey. Come on...what's not to love about a story about a man and his imaginary friend (a six foot three and half inch rabbit). It's a sweet movie filled with great quotes like, "Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. " Elwood, my hero, flying in the face of convention all the way through the movie and all the happier for it. (James Stewart, Josephine Hull, Charles Drake)

Night of the Living Dead. Nothing beats this classic. It is genuinely creepy and far superior to every attempted remake or all the "sequels". And the ending....well, it is the definition of irony. "They're coming to get you Barbra." (Duane Jones, Judith O'Dea, Karl Hardman)

Casablanca. After I got over my "fear" of black and white films, I decided to give this one a try and immediately fell in love with it. It is amazing to think that when this movie was made, the film companies were churning out 50 pictures a year each and had to trade for stars like baseball cards. Great lines, great starts, great story and a wonderful love story. Also, one of the most misquoted movies of all time. (Humphrey Bogart, Claude Rains, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Socially relevant and very challenging when it came out, this movie shines. From Hepburn's firing of snobbish Hilary to Tracy's fight with his sock drawer, the movie will please. It's sad, it's funny, it's 100% worthy. (Katherine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Sidney Poitier)

Sabrina. Another movie where I wouldn't touch the remake with a ten foot pole. Nothing against Harrison Ford, but he's no Bogart. Bogart wasn't originally thought of as a leading man, but it doesn't get any better than him, does it? Underneath the love story, there is a message about class distinction, but it isn't nearly heavy handed to ruin the movie. (Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden)

The War of the Worlds. I actually did watch the remake of this recently (I can't resist a disaster flick) and despite all the advancements in special effects, the remake pales in comparison to the original. Sometimes the special effects get in the way...before they came along, you really had to concentrate on the character and the stories. (Gene Barry, Ann Robinson, Les Tremayne)

And that is all for today! What are you favorite classic movies...or heck, just your favorite movies?

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

2006-07-26T19:54:00.000-05:00

Well, my creative dry spell continues.....I started a poem and it was even too dark for me (and that is saying something). So I'm going to write about some t.v. shows that I've loved (and maybe some I didn't). I know it's terribly exciting, but please try to contain yourself. And these are in no particular order.

X-Files....Sometimes you just know that you're going to love a show before you see the first episode. The X-Files was one of those shows for me. I loved it....almost to the end. Toward the end, when David Duchovny had pretty much exited, the show really lost what made it magical...the combination of Mulder and Scully. I vaguely remember the last episode...it was both sad(its over) and a relief (its over!). (David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Mitch Pileggi)

Lost....I had a pretty good idea that I was going to like this show and after one episode, I became a Lost junkie. The second season wasn't as good as the first, but with so much anticipation waiting for it, that is to be expected. I look for all the hidden clues, read some message boards (there are people out there whose obsession with the show make me feel really normal) and try to guess what is happening. My only fear is that the show will fizzle and that the end, when the truth is revealed, it will never be as good as I hope it will be. (Matthew Fox, Evangiline Lily, a hobbit and lots of other people)

Picket Fences--I never watched a single episode of this show during its first run. I started watching it when I worked until 10PM at night and they were showing it on FX. It was a great show filled with flawed, quirky characters and excellent writing. (Tom Skerritt, Holly Marie Combs, Ray Walston, Don Cheadle)

EZ Streets--It was dark, gritty and intelligent so it lasted about 4 episodes before it got yanked. I set up the VCR to record an episode because I was at work when it came on. I couldn't wait to get home and watch it only to find that I had recorded some, what I thought was random, movie. I thought I'd had a complete lapse and recorded the wrong channel...turned out to be the right channel, but no more show. (Jason Gedrick, Joe Pantoliano, Debrah Farentino)

Strange Luck--another great, offbeat show filled with real characters that lasted....about 4 episodes before it got yanked. It actually might have made it more than 4 episodes, but not by much. In one episode, the main character, orders some weird food combination from a street vendor and ends up with a bag of cash...he's mistaken for a hit man who was to order that specific weird food combination because they thought no one would ever actually order that. Hmm....I guess you really had to see it. (D.B. Sweeney, Frances Fisher)

Outer Limits--I actually like both the original and the more recent versions of this show. I love the twists and the endings that you never see coming no matter how much you might try.

Twilight Zone--the original, the remake never really hit the spot. Original, creative and sometimes creepy. Like the Outer Limits, you were going a journey and you never knew where you were going to end up.

Stargate SG-1--It took me a long time to watch this show because I was a fan of the movie and I was afraid that they would make a mess of it. But it pays homage to the movie while cutting its own path. The downside is that Richard Dean Anderson is mostly gone (the occassional appearance is all we get) and this show, like the X-Files, really centered on the chemistry of the team. The addition of Ben Browder, who seems to be playing the exact same character as did on Farscape, is really annoying because it seems like he's playing the exact same character as he did on Farscape. And Claudia Black is wasted in the most annoying role I've seen in quite some time. (Richard Dean Anderson, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks)

24--I knew that I was going to love this show and I was glad to see the return of Kiefer Sutherland. They make real time work (unlike the Depp movie, Nick of Time), keep you on the edge of your seat and craving more. (Kiefer Sutherland, various others).

There you have it....the ones that occurred to me while I was writing...guess I didn't have too many in the can't stand column.....and who knows, if my writer's block doesn't let up soon, you might just see round two!

Oh Yeah....This Was a Big Surprise.....

2006-07-23T21:17:00.000-05:00

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howsarcasticareyouquiz/">How Sarcastic Are You?

In Good Company

2006-07-23T14:12:00.000-05:00

I have known women who have agonized over who to ask to be in their wedding party or have faced pressure from family members (okay..from their mothers) about who they should ask. After all there is always a cousin somewhere that your mother thinks you should ask even if she's someone you wouldn't know if you tripped over her. For me, this was an easy question (and when I say easy...I mean "would you like a piece of chocolate" EASY!)
It took me all of about a nano second to decide who I was going to ask. I am blessed with having some exceptional women in my group of friends. It is amazing how much we have in common while at the same time, being so different. Heidi, for example, is much more optimistic than I am. You will note that her blog is a bright, happy pink while mine...well isn't. And Angela doesn't think that nature is something best viewed through the window, but something you should go out and be part of. Lisa is one of the most positive, happy people that I've even known in my life. When she laughs, there is no way to stay unhappy. Amy is nothing short of my angel and can always put anything that I think is going wrong into perspective and make me believe it as well.
Over the years that have gone by, lots of things have changed. Amy & Lisa are mommy's now and Amy and me don't do our grocery shopping at 10:00 at night after getting off work. And we've got a little older and Angela doesn't call me at odd hours of the night to ask me horror movie trivia questions (and yes, I do still know the lullaby that they sung in the commercial for The Fly II, that wasn't in the movie). Not everything changes....and that's a good thing which is why Heidi still always looks for the bright side of things and always looks for the way to cheer you up when you're having a really, bad day.
I know that no matter what happens or what time of the day or night, that if I needed one of them, they are just a phone call away. And I know that they understand why you go out to eat and start with an appetizer and skip straight to dessert or why you just start with dessert. They understand the things that make me happy and those that make me sad. I know that when times are hard, that they remember me in their prayers and that they rejoice with me when I'm on top of the world. They would talk with me about anything I needed, cry with me when I'm sad, laugh when I'm being silly or just sit quietly with me.
And that's why I know when my wedding day comes and I look over at these four women, I'll know that I'm the one who's truly blessed.

A to Z of Me Meme

2006-07-20T21:15:00.000-05:00

A little while back, Dagoth published this meme so I thought I would give it a shot. Oh....and he tagged everyone on the planet to do this meme....I wonder if he knows that means that he has to read all of them!

Allergies As a kid, I was allergic to bees and that was it. The older I get the more allergies
I get. Oh joy!

Baseball Particularly the Atlanta Braves (and yes, I know they've hoovered for most of the
season).

Cats Although, yes, I have developed allergies to them as well. But I wouldn't trade my
my big cat for anything...except maybe some chocolate.

David I am marrying him come October so I guess he rates a mention along with our dog.

Extremly opinionated Kind of speaks for itself!

Favorite smells Garlic cooking, the world after it rains, some flowers.

God I'm a believer!

Housecleaning I hate it!

Ice Cream Chocolate....does it have chocolate in it?

Jokes Sometimes...depends on my mood.

Kids Do the four legged ones count?

Love The most wonderful thing in the world if it's not breaking your heart.

Movies Love them, love them, love them.....I could go on forever listing the ones I love (and
the ones I hate).

Numbers Not my friend..never all that good at math.

Omni No clue...just popped into my head!

Pasta If they ever declare it a diet food....I'm in business!

Quitting Time One of the best times of the day!!!!!

Rebellion Can be good for the soul!

Shrimp I don't think dinner filled me up....several food references...oh wait, I love food!

Temper Better at controlling it the older I get, but when I blow, the paint will peel!

Universe I am amazed by how big it is, how small we are and how little we really now.

Vegetables I've heard of them! I'm trying to get better but those force feeds as a kid still
haunt me.

Wisdom There isn't enough in the world (kind of like common sense), but I hope that I
achieve some one day!

X-Ray Vision Really....it's not all its cracked up to be!

Yelling Can be very cathartic....primal scream therapy and all that, yelling along with the
radio at a very high volume.

Zero Tolerance for stupidity.

Is This Me?

2006-07-19T20:11:00.000-05:00

I was over at Dagoth's Domain and he had a personality test on his blog. If you'ver read through my previous posts, you know that I have a certain fascination with these things. And like Dagoth, I think that the results you get on these is often determined by how you're feeling at the moment. I think that this one definitely has a lot to do with how stressed I am feeling these days which I think makes me tend to view things in a more negative light. I find it quite humorous, however, that under the stability traits it lists me as optimistic....makes me wonder about how accurate this one is! I nearly fell over when I read the description for Female Cliche and the part that it says that I prefer looking good to comfort...in WHAT universe? And Dagoth, it says that I know the dark side very well! I guess that means that I get the ammo! I couldn't get it to look as nice as Dagoth's....it kept rearranging my page and I'm fairly hopeless at fixing those things!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion 36%
Stability 46%
Orderliness 43%
Accommodation 50%
Interdependence 56%
Intellectual 50%
Mystical 36%
Artistic 63%
Religious 90%
Hedonism 36%
Materialism 63%
Narcissism 36%
Adventurousness 10%
Work ethic 43%
Self absorbed 50%
Conflict seeking 56%
Need to dominate 50%
Romantic 43%
Avoidant 50%
Anti-authority 50%
Wealth 10%
Dependency 63%
Change averse 56%
Cautiousness 76%
Individuality 23%
Sexuality 36%
Peter pan complex 43%
Physical security 83%
Physical fitness 24%
Histrionic 30%
Paranoia 70%
Vanity 43%
Hypersensitivity 63%
Female cliche 70%

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

does not make friends easily, secretive, introverted, reclusive, observer, dislikes leadership, somewhat socially awkward, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, values solitude, solitary, avoidant, ambivalent about fitting in, not dominant, unassertive, suspicious, prudent, unadventurous, worrying, weird, intellectual, frequently second guesses self

The site, of course, has other tests (some obviously less "serious" than others)"

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sigh.....

2006-07-18T20:01:00.000-05:00

I haven't had much of a chance to blog lately and I really miss it. I also miss having a creative spark which has apparently been sucked out of me by having too much to do and not enough time to do it and stress way past my eyeballs! I know that this too shall pass (at least I really hope it does) and I'll have more time, more energy and some original, creative thinking. From time to have I have these random thoughts, little fragments of something...that might turn into something...but then it just fizzles out...the rest of the thought just fades into the background of the chaos all around me.

For now, I'm just going to kick back and give a new show on Sci-Fi, Eureka, a chance.

Insert heavy sigh here................

Why We'll Never Understand Each Other

2006-07-14T19:49:00.000-05:00

What he heard: You're way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather!

What she said: Drive carefully, dear

I Don't Eat Grits (Confessions of an Unsouthern Southerner)

2006-07-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

There's a television station called "Turner South" that routinely features commercials featuring both celebrities and "regular folk" who talk about what "My South" means to them. When I watch these, I'm always like "Really"? The South is the place that I live, the place that I've lived my entire life, but I don't feel particulary "southern". If you asked me what it meant to be southern, I'd probably just stare at you like "What?". I have been called the most unsouthern person from the south by my southern friends in the know. So here are some ramblings on being southern (or unsouthern) as the case may be.

1) I don't eat grits. I can't stand them. This used to drive my daddy crazy...after all, what kind of self-respecting southerner doesn't eat grits. Um...I guess I'm not a self-respecting southerner? My fiance whose family is from New York (okay, he was like 7 or 8 when they moved here), loves the gritty things. I make them on occassion for him and grimace a bit when he eats them. I also use INSTANT grits, which I think consigns me to a special unsouthern status.

2) Accent. Here is a conversation that I've had more than once in my life:

"Where are you from?
"Here."
"No, I mean originally."
"I'm from here."
"Really, you don't sound like it."

Despite having lived in the south my whole life, it is apparently the last place that I sound like I would be from. Non-southerners are more likely to detect an accent, but they are wrong like 98% of the time about where I'm from. I've been told Texas more times than any other guess. ???? I can sound like I'm from the south...but it sounds like a really bad impression of a southern accent.

3) Sweet Tea. There is exactly ONE acceptable reason to not drink sweet tea. And that is if consumption of sugar will actually cause you bodily harm. Otherwise, refusal to drink sweet tea is apparently some sort of mental disease or defect.

4) Feeding people. I do think it is southern compulsion to feel the need to feed people and I have this in spades. If you are in my house for more than 60 seconds, I am going to try to feed you something and I am miffed if you don't accept. Don't even think about showing up a dinner time with some lame excuse like you just ate. I don't care. You will sit your butt down at the table and you will eat something. And you will be happy about it!

5) Southern hospitality. I don't consider feeding people as being hospitable...its more of a compulsion. Other than that, I'm really not all that hospitable. Granted, after years of having my brain dissolved by customer service, I am less unhospitable than I used to be, but I don't consider myself especially hospitable. I don't like people showing up unannounced and I have left more than one person standing on my front door knocking or ringing the doorbell. Why don't you be hospitable and frigging call me before you show up on my door. I remember working the front desk at a hotel years ago when two men from New York were checking in. When I asked how they were going to pay for their stay, they snapped off "Pay? Pay? Whatever happened to southern hospitality?" "I'm so sorry, but that died with the war." The Fed-Ex man, who was Hawaiin, nearly fell over laughing.

6) The Civil War. I have never referred to it as "The War of Northern Agression" and I'm not harboring any bad feelings about it. I don't own and never have owned a confedearate flag and don't believe that everyone who does still wants to bring back slavery.

7) Yankees. As my father said, Yankees come for a visit, damn Yankees come to stay. I live in a beautiful area that is being ruined by people who come from a visit and then decide to move here and build big houses on the ridgeline...thereby ruining the view that they say they love so much.

8) Misconceptions. I am annoyed by the misconceptions that people have about southerners and the south. We have a lot of clients who, when they visit for the first time, say it isn't what they expected. What surprised you more, the fact that we have indoor plumbing or that we wear shoes? That our roads are paved? That we have all our teeth or that we know how to speak proper English? (Yes, I use ya'll). I used the word "ain't" one time and someone I worked with actually walked out of their office to be sure that I was the one who said it because apparently my normal method of speaking isn't conducive to that word. They asked me if I was feeling okay.

9) Identity. I don't feel southern. I don't think of myself as a southerner. I can't really say what it means to be southern. I could never do a "My South" commercial.

10) And I still don't eat grits! Or collard greens...or turnip greens. I can't see how anyone does...the smell of them cooking is reason enough to not even think about even trying them.

But what do I know.....I'm an unsouthern southerner.

Time, Sweet Time

2006-07-06T20:02:00.000-05:00

All I really need is for the day to be twice as long with none of that extra time spent at work and not need any additional sleep and I think that I'll be good.....is that really so much to ask for?

It really does seem like there just isn't enough time to get everything done that needs to be done and have any time left for "a life".

Despite being a royal pain of late, my job really isn't all that bad...there are lots of things about my job that I really enjoy (and others that make Chinese Water Torture or bamboo under fingernails seem like a day at the park). Lately, it has been taking its toll on me....because there just isn't enough time to get done what needs to be done. I have this amazing stack of crap on my desk...that I intend to tackle every day. But there is always other stuff that pops up that need more immediate attention. Basically the biggest fire gets the attention. And I have the feeling that somewhere in that stack of crap, something important is lurking about, something that is going to end up biting me in the butt with teeth like Jaws on steroids. And we're trying to hire people....and you know what, there are a lot of people out there who really don't want to work. And interviewing them...well, it takes time...time I don't have. (And yes, I would very much like some cheese with my whine!) And then they tell you all the times that they don't/can't work or parts of the job that they would really rather not do, but they would still really like the job (????). Some of them are clever enough to LIE during the interview and then later you find out about all the things that they are entitled to...people its a JOB, you are entitled to a paycheck for doing the work that we hired you to do. But they don't want to do things they don't like...join the club! I don't like every single aspect of my job, either! Don't give me wrong, not everyone that I work with is like this. There are really great people where I work, who show up and give it their all most of the time....hey, we can't give 100% all of the time. I worry about anyone who can.

I'd like more time to work on the house and lots more time to spend with my friends! I'd like more time to soak in a nice, hot bubble bath with a good book, plenty of candles and a frosty beverage. I'd like more time to blog, to be creative, to write. I'd like more time to watch baseball and silly t.v. shows. I'd like more time to be lazy! I'd like to have more time to take classes and learn new things. I'd like more time to read (and okay...I actually would like more time to sleep). I'd like more time to try new recipes and surf the web! And so on and so...I'd just like more time!

More Recipes

2006-07-04T14:21:00.000-05:00

A couple of quick & easy recipes!

Zucchini Pancakes

I'm not normally a fan of zucchini, but I enjoy these very much!

1 1/2 cups shredded zucchini
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tbs biscuit, baking mix
3 tbs grated parmesan chhese
1 tbs vegetable oil

--In a bowl, combine all but the oil.
--Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
--Drop batter by 1/4 cupfuls and flatten
--Fry until golden brown; turn and cook the other side

Apple Kielbasa Coins

1 1/2 lbs fully cooked kielbasa or Polish sausage, cut into 1/4 inch slices
1/4 c. apple juice
1/4 c. apple jelly
2 tbs. maple syrup

--In a large skillet, bring sausage and apple juice to boil
--Cover and cook for 5 minutes
--Uncover and cook for 5 minutes longer, drain
--Add jelly and syrup, cook and stir until jelly is melted and sausage is coated

The Badlands

2006-06-29T20:12:00.000-05:00

In the shadow of
the dying trees,
the path becomes
the decaying remains
of all hope, of all life,
now only the dying light
struggles to show the way;
the failing seasons turn
to the never ending grey,
grim and raw,
the blistering wind
renders us unwelcome

as our journey founders
with unsure steps.

Start With A Mix

2006-06-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I really love cooking! I love trying new recipes, experimenting with different combinations and the such, but let's face it, there isn't time to make something such as wild rice and apricot stuffed pork tenderloin every night. At least there isn't in my universe. So......the key is to find quicker dishes, those without a lot of prep that still make a satisying meal.....

Mexican Casserole

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Cheesy Nacho Hamburger Helper
1 pound lean ground beef

Make the Hamburger Helper just like it says on the box.

Then add:

1 15 oz can of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 11 oz can whole kernal corn, drained
1 4 oz can green chilis
1/2 cup salsa (as hot or mild as you would like)
1/2 cup sour cream

Mix well and spread into 9 x 13 pan, top with 1 cup crushed tortilla chips and 1 1/2 cup shredded cheese (I use the mexi blend) and cook for 25 minutes. Then Enjoy!

Do You Have Problems With Your Neighbors?

2006-06-23T14:15:00.000-05:00

Lament

2006-06-19T20:36:00.000-05:00

There is a silence within my soul,
a dwelling place for forgotten dreams,
of all things fallen away,
lost in twilight, in the fading light,
with voices small, and cries unheard,
further they fall into the burning abyss,
treacherous in my betrayal,
I become the lament.

Something Else I Miss

2006-06-16T20:59:00.000-05:00

Another cartoon that I greatly miss is Calvin & Hobbes....ah the simple story of a boy and his tiger! One of my all time favorites is when Calvin snuck out of the house in the middle of the night, walked to a payphone, called home and announced the time and asked "Do you know where I am?" And I loved the snow creatures that they would make to greet Dad at the end of a long day at work! Simple proof that with a good imagination there is no limit to the places you can go.

Ephemeral

2006-06-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

The moments,
ephemeral,
slip past,
beyond notice;
without reproach,
we concede them
to the wasteland,
misspent and
forgotten,
into the breach;
to the next,
and the next,
endless, insatiable
we squander them;
vain in our
disregard,
without humility
or care,
until descending
darkness quells
our hollow storm.

My Father's Daughter

2006-06-11T12:04:00.000-05:00

Who we are, is at least to some degree, attributable to those people who are influential in our lives whether that is our parents, our siblings, our grandparents or aunts and uncles, etc. When I look at who I am, I know that I can look to my father and give some credit (or blame) for a number of things about who I am and how I think:

1) An inherent distrust of the government. My father was a registered Democrat (but he knew there were devils in the Democrats as well) and he served his country in Korea, but he viewed the government as sort of a necessary evil. As something that should be questioned and challenged. He was not one to believe in blind faith or taking things at face value (this applied to more than the government). Yes, he knew that we had it lucky in this country, but that didn't mean that he believed that the government always looked out for the best interest of the people. He thought the government had given themselves too much power (especially the IRS) and that we would be best served by watching our back.

2) A rather warped sense of humor. I think that one of the reasons I've always been a fan of The Far Side or other slightly off center humor is directly tied to my father and the things that he thought were funny (these were not necessarily things that other people thought of as funny). When I was 17, Daddy sent me to the basement to get something. This DID NOT make me happy. Since childhood I had been terrified of the basement (and it still gives me a bit of the creeps). My fear was exploited and greatly intensified by my older brother locking me in the basement after we watched a horror movie (which I really shouldn't have been watching at such a tender age). My father KNEW that I was terrified of the basement and that I would go to greater lengths to avoid having to go into what I consider the depths of hell. I tried, in vain, to convince him that he didn't really need whatever he was asking for (I don't even remember what he wanted). So down I got into the pit of darkness and what do I find (yes, what he sent me for) but a canary yellow Ford Mustang. Of course, I run back upstairs to interrogate my father with, "Is it mine? Is it for me?" I was dying because of course I'd been hoping for a car and I was 17 years old and not having a car was killing me. He refused to answer me....for two weeks! I quizzed him daily, almost non-stop. I was so excited, I just couldn't wait for him to finally tell me that, yes, the car was mine. If you recall how exciting it was to get your first car, you can imagine how I was feeling! I was on pins and needles, feeling like I could just burst out of my skin. After two weeks one of my father's friends came to get the car he'd bought for his granddaughter! I was crushed and my father got a great laugh at my expense. (For the record, I ended up with a 1979 Chevrolet Malibu Classic Station wagon (oh joy) that I named Sherman to protest its size.)

3) Being stubborn. In all fairness, I got a double whammy on this one as both my parents were possessed with a peculiarly strange breed of stubborn stubborness. I can be quite stubborn about things if I feel strongly about it.

4) Stand up for what you believe in. You should pick your causes and your battles, but once you did, you were in it for the long haul. What you believed in was a vital extension of who you are and it should be fought for and protected.

5) How to play mind games with other drivers and force them off the road without ever touching their vehicle. For the record, I've never done this, but it might come in handy one day. It was a little something that my father picked up from a guy during the "union wars". While my father's love for the union waned as he saw them being corrupted by politics and other ills, there was a time when he was a firm advocate for unions and what they could do to help improve employee conditions. He was actually fired for trying to get a union started where he worked (and eventually rehired).

6) Holding a grudge. Yep, I have this in spades (check out my Know Thyself?? post and the entries about the girl in the second grade who stole my pencils). But my father could carry a grudge like no one else. In high school, there was a guy who was interested in me and the feeling was mutual. But my father had a long-standing grudge against someone in the guy's family and refused to let him in the house. So we would stand or sit on the front porch in the freezing cold....maybe if it had been the fall or spring, this would have lasted longer.

7) Extreme solutions. Not always, not even usually, but sometimes. My brother is similarly afflicted (he got my mother to finally make out a will by threatening to burn the house down rather than let the state have it). I was having trouble getting the dealer I had bought a vehicle from to correct some things that needed correcting. So I threatened to take the vehicle back and set it on fire in the dealer's lot. My mother called my brother and said that he'd better help me because I was acting like my father! I don't think that I actually would have set the truck on fire, at the dealer's or anywhere else, but it sounded like a good idea at the moment that I said it. (But I have no doubt my brother would have burned the house down.)

8) God isn't only in church, he's everywhere. Daddy believed in God, but he didn't believe that politics belonged in the church. I've always been a little unclear about exactly what happened, but it pissed him off enough that he never darkened the door of church again. But that didn't change his faith or keep him from passing it on to us. He didn't mind if we went and in fact, encouraged it in his own way, but his mind was made up (remember: stubborn, ability to hold a grudge).

9) Temper, Temper, Temper. My temper isn't nearly as bad as it used to be (years in customer service has taught me how to manage it better), but if I ever lose it, you might as well evacuate the area. The walls are going to shake and the paint is going to peel. My father was a road rager far before anyone coined the term. You did NOT want to pull out in front of that man and cause him to have to slam on his brakes. There was one time that I am still quite convinced that if me and mother hadn't been in the car, he would have just plowed this guy over. But that guy probably still has nightmares about the guy who came after him like a bat out of hell, lights flashing and tailgating way too close for comfort. I have a couple of road rage stories myself, but we'll leave those for another day.

Oh, there are plenty more and some that are probably more important than these, but these are what came to me. And I know that as I've grown older and learned more about our family, that the way I see him now is different than the way that I saw him when I was a kid and the many ways that he could have turned out a different person (both better and worse).

When my father was about 5 or 6 years old, he lost his younger brother (he died just short of his second birthday). My grandmother said that it was the defining moment in his life and that the person he was after was completely different than the person he was before. Before, he had been a very loving and affectionate kid, always full of hugs and I love you's. After that, he didn't hug anymore and there were no more I love you's. I've wondered if he ever told my mother, because he never said those words to his children. It's not that I believe that he didn't love us, but it would have been nice to have heard-just once.

Losing his brother also made my father want to never lose another person that he loved. So on June 12, 1989, my father got up, got ready, went to the kitchen, looked out the windows to check for rabbits or other creatures that would cause the dog to go nuts when he took him out, and got his wish of not outliving any of those people he that loved. He cut his head on the kitchen table when he fell, but the doctor's said he never felt it because he died immediately of massive heart trauma. I still remember that day with a clarity that is eerie. My brother had recently moved back home and was working third shift. He came home shortly after 7:00AM to find my father on the kitchen floor. He went to get my mother. I had been out late the night before and I recall hearing someone running through the house and shot up in the bed. I was completely awake, you know the way you get when something scares you awake. My heart was pounding and my first thought was that the house was on fire. And then a sudden calm came over me and I thought, "If the house is on fire, they'll come get me" and went straight back to sleep. I think God knew that I couldn't face seeing my father dead on the floor that morning and spared me that grief. I wasn't awakened again until after the ambulance had come and gone. But he got his wish..he left behind his wife, his children, his parents, his sister and a dear great aunt. We would all outlive him, which is exactly what he wanted...to never lose another person he loved whether or not he could tell us how he felt.

Intellectually, you know that your parents are not going to be around forever. Emotionally, I'm not sure we're ever prepared and I wasn't ready for him to go so soon. I was a late baby for my parents and he was only 56.

There are times when it seems so long ago, that it doesn't seem quite real. And there are other times when the wound seems so fresh that I could just break down into tears as if someone had just told me that my Daddy was gone. I don't visit his grave that often, because I know that he isn't there and somehow I know that when I talk to him, that if he can hear me, he can hear me from wherever I am and that standing over his grave isn't going to make the reception any better. And I believe that he would be okay with that. He dearly loved and missed his baby brother, but I don't recall one time that he went to visit his grave. Like me, he knew that those that are gone are never really gone as long as we keep them with us.

And for good or bad, I know that I am, and I'm proud to be, my father's daughter.

Free

2006-06-09T20:53:00.000-05:00

Put to bed this unrest,
and ease my weary soul,
a place to lay my head,
and hide from the world,
a harbor safe,
a haven sheltered,
calm and quiet,
a gentle breeze
to comfort me,
soothe my brow
and set me free.

In Those Moments

2006-06-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

In those moments,
quiet and dead,
we see the blood,
in the sand,
on our hands;
when reason dies,
when passion fades,
the dark shows
our lost way;
in bitter and rage,
in anguished dispair,
in tiny pieces,
the slow dying
of a grieving soul.

Halt! Who Goes There?

2006-06-08T21:09:00.000-05:00

When I first started blogging, thanks to my friend Heidi, I developed a mini obsession with whether or not anyone was actually coming by and visiting. I would check, with nervous anticipation, to see if anyone had dropped by and posted a comment. Hmmmm, not a lot of comments...was anyone coming by? So I added Site Meter so I could at least see if anyone really was coming by. And I found that some people were actually coming by and over time some of them started leaving comments, and some became return visitors and added me as a link on their blog (the ultimate blogging compliment). It brings a smile to my face to drop by my blog and see a new comment, to have the lovely compliments posted to my poetry and to know that some people enjoy the blog enough that they keep coming back! Thanks to all of you who have stopped by, to those who have invited me into your world and who have become part of mine!

The Breakdown:

North America 80%
Europe 15%
South America 3%
Asia 2%

United States 77%
United Kingdom 8%
Netherlands 3%
Canada 2%
Germany 2%
Japan 2%
Greece 1%
France 1%
Costa Rica 1%
Belize 1%
Argentina 1%

How cool is that?

The Fine Art of Journaling

2006-06-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

For me, a journal is a rather messy way of recording my thoughts & feelings, a way to rant, rave and vent (see my post "Only In Hell Would This Be Funny), to record random quotes and creative inklings (in the hope that one day that might lead to something else). It doesn't have to be organized and since it isn't for anyone else, it doesn't have to be neat or make sense to anyone but me. While I have thoroughly enjoyed my relatively new foray into blogging, for me true journaling occurs with pen and paper. Yes, I know that sounds rather old fashioned in this technological age, but when I write something by hand I find it far more satisfying & cathartic than typing (or keyboarding). I love the sensation, the connection between my thoughts and the paper seem somehow more real when I write them by hand. Some of the poetry entries on this blog were first written by hand and then transferred here.
I can't even tell you how many different journals that I've had in my life, but sometimes the journal itself is inspiring. Some have had quotes on the pages, others had paper that was itself soft and comforting and others still were chosen for their beautiful covers that just spoke to me somehow, sparked some interest, some creative craving. One time I had a "Grateful Journal" when the goal each day was to come up with 3 different things that I had to be grateful for. Sometimes, I wish I still had one of those journals. When I was feeling down, it could be a challenge to come up with entries, but when I looked back through the previous pages, I was reminded in all the small & big ways that my life was truly blessed.

Feeding the Addiction

2006-06-05T21:31:00.000-05:00

I created a new blog, Fractal Fever, dedicated to my new found obsession with creating fractal art. I thought that might be a little easier than overwhelming this blog with them. Not sure how long this will last....but while it does, figured I might as well go with it! They are so amazing and so filled with possibility!

Electric

2006-06-05T21:15:00.000-05:00

My body electric,

I quiver inside my skin;

the universe,

its pounding pulse

beats within me;

unsettled within this

swirl of thoughts,

I hear myself,

screaming into the void.

Edge

2006-06-04T16:43:00.000-05:00

I am the child standing
upon the sharp edge of forever,
uncertain, in my blindness,
unprepared, fate in my hands,
the unbearable weight of being
crushing into my soul,
the splintering universe pierces,
feel the lost, tormented ones
pouring into me the long years
of unspent misery,
desperate cries unhinge me,
becoming,
understanding,
we are one in the mist.

This Is Just So Cool

2006-06-04T14:49:00.000-05:00

I was "next bloggin" when I stumbled across a blog that had a fractal created by the blogger who had found another blog that had instructions and a link for downloading a program that allows you to do this. Unfortunately, and curses, I lost the blog that contained the link for the free program (something called Tiera-Zon). Sorry guys/girls because I'd love to give you credit for this. I had such fun doing this even though I lost the blog that had all the great instructions. Nothing like just clicking on the options and seeing what happens. Because trust me, I do not understand the math behind this!

Meme

2006-06-03T17:26:00.000-05:00

Meme A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

I was spending some time blog hopping to some of my favorite blogs, when I stopped at A View of the Mountains and an interesting exercise. You are tagged by someone else who tags you with a letter and then you write 10 words that begin with that letter and what the word means to you. Blackcrag tagged me with the letter R (and I'm grateful that he didn't give me something like X or Q). So here goes (and yes, if you'd like me to tag you, just drop me a comment and I'll be happy to do so).

Rain This is the first word that came to my mind when I was tagged with the letter R. I love the rain. There is something so calm, so soothing and so cleansing about the rain. When we replaced our roof, we looked into having a metal roof put on the house just to enjoy the sound of rain on it (the cost was prohibitive). I just feel so comfortable and relaxed when I sit and listen or watch the rain. Honestly, I'm not much of a sun worshipper and I think that world doesn't look its best under the harsh glare of sunlight. But after a rain shower, when the sky is still gray, all the colors are so much more vibrant, so much easier to see and enjoy. And all the plants, the grass, the trees seem somehow "happier". Thunderstorms are the best, when the rain is mixed with the thunder and the lightening in a deomonstration of nature's power. I always sleep best during a thunderstorm.

Rabbits There is something so sweet about little bunny rabbits. We had a lot of rabbits around when I was a child. Not only those that my father kept and we made pets of but the wild ones, too. Unlike today, there was hardly anyone around our house back then so the wild life was more abundent. I took four years of ballet as a little girl and my first ballet costume...yes, it was a bunny rabbit. I know gardner's probably aren't fond of them, but generally rabbits don't cause a lot of trouble and are a ton of fun to watch when they get to feeling frisky and chasing each other around.

Red The color red is bold, vibrant and beautiful. It is the mark of passion, of being bold and adventurous. The color of life. Red gets noticed....in nature, in clothing, in art. It isn't timid or afraid. (And I actually look pretty good in red.) It doesn't shy away or try to be a wallflower, it is 100% in your face!

Restaurants I love dining out. Yes, I love to cook, but there is something to be said for having someone else do the cooking (not to mention the clean-up). I love the concept of fast food (although it is admittedly not the healthiest open) when I'm in a hurry or just feeling too tired at the end of a long day. I love diners and fancy sit-downs. And I can even endure the wait in line if there is something that I'm really looking forward to. I love the Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookie Dough Cheesecake from the Cheescake Factory, the buffalo chili at Spirits on the River, the salad bar at The Poplar Lodge, the spicy chicken biscuit at Bojangles.....hmmm, maybe this is because I love food!

Rebellion A little rebellion is good for the soul. That part of us that drives us to fight conformity and to find our own way, to not accept the status quo, to fight the good fight even though it would be easier to sit back and do nothing, rebelling against "the man", fighting injustice, and refusing to just go along with whatever is popular or prevalent.

Raising Arizona I love this movie! For me, its rather hit of miss with the Coen brothers, but this is a big hit. I don't care how many times I see this movie, it always makes me laugh. I realize that we are not talking about "high" cinema with this pick, but that's okay. Who says that everything of value has to be intellectual.

Rescue There are a lot of ways to be rescued or to be a rescuer. There are the "common" ways such as firefighters running into a burning building to save someone, the police offer that responds to a call, the EMTs who bring us back from the brink, the doctors, etc. But we can rescue or be rescued emotionally as well as physically. Sometimes this can be as simple as connecting with someone who makes us feel that we are special. I bet that we've all aided in the rescue of another person at some time in our life and maybe without even knowing it. Maybe it was just saying hello to someone that we passed on the street, a small gesture that let them know that they weren't invisible. The genuine thank you that we offered someone that meant more to them than we could ever guess.

Reading I have a passion for the written world. From the time my sister started to teach me to read when I was little, I was in love with it. To pick up a book and learn something new or to go on an adventure, however imaginary, that transports us from the minutia of our lives. I love crawling into a nice, hot bubble bath with a cold drink and a good book. I love the places that I can go and the people that I can meet. We can take an endless amount of journeys. We can learn so much. We can enjoy the blogs!

Roads Despite my irritation with the traffic on roads, I love the possibilities that roads give us, the places that they can take us, the journeys that await us. I used to love the road trips that me and one of my friends used to take. We might pack a lunch and spend all day driving on the parkway, pulling over at every look, piddling around in the little towns along the way, watching people and taking pictures. Or we'd drive down to Charlotte just to eat at Darryl's. Or over to Tennessee to shop at the outlets.

Rivers When I was younger and my mother went through the change of lfe, my father developed some interesting hobbies. I was really too young to understand at the time everything that was going on, but my father did and decided that my mother needed her space and we needed to be out of it. One of his hobbies was gold panning which meant going up into the mountains and find a river or creek and panning for gold. This didn't net as many goodies as his metal detecting, but they were peaceful times, playing in the cool water without a care in the world. It was almost like you could pluck a leaf from a tree, give your troubles to it and place it on the water to be carried away. There is something nearly spiritual in the sound of the water running by, skipping over the rocks. Even though, as an adult, I'm not much of an outdoors person, the memory of playing in the untamed water while my father panned for gold brings a smile to my face.

....Hope

Only In Hell Would This Be Funny

2006-06-02T21:12:00.000-05:00

So there I am sitting at my desk, its nearly six o'clock and my goal of leaving work no later than five thirty is gone and my new goal of leaving at six is in jeopardy when all of sudden this random thought pops into my head: Only in hell would this be funny. Where did this come from? What would be funny in hell? My job? My life?

My work day started around 8:00AM. With one person on vacation, it fell to me to start getting reports for one our clients ready. Okay, rolling along and then a snag...one of the reports shows shipping carryover that it shouldn't. Okay, open e-mail to send an urgent e-mail to get this taken care of. Hmm....nearly a 100 other e-mails that need my attention as soon as I can get these reports done. E-mail sent.

Now about these e-mails...let's troll through and get delete the spam, delete the notices alerting me to e-mails in other accounts that I don't have time to get to. Okay, start opening e-mails, reviewing reports, delete.

Crap, I've got to finish those check refunds. Since the billing department is still short one person, I had to review the check refunds...and because the powers that be in IT had yet to enter a work order to program for printing of these checks, I had to hand write all the checks. And because we're short in billing and because volume is at least twice what the client told us, I can now disburse the refunds, print labels, get them in the mail.

Instant Message..are you joining the call? Crap, a call with yet another client...forget it was moved up three hours. Okay, Okay, I'm calling in. Where did these other e-mails come from? Another instant message...can you look at an account? More e-mails. Stuffing envelopes while trying to take notes to update project plan. Another instant message...can I please make our salesman shut up. He's promising things that our phone system can't do. Trust me, the man talks to me like an idiot and if there was a smite button on my keyboard, he'd be toast. Make the most of it, can't air dirty laundry in front of the client. Salesman is talking...I'm now in physical pain...can anyone make it stop? More e-mails are coming in. My phone is ringing, but I can't answer because I'm on a call that should have been over in 15 minutes now over half an hour. Can I please correct the project plan? Uh, well, my calendar says that next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday is the 6th, 7th and 8th....what do you want me to change it to? The client chimes in....those dates are right. Salesman stumbles, but keeps talking. Obviously, he gets paid for every word he speaks...that must be why he keeps talking, repeating what everyone says, but twisting it so it is no longer accurate. Another one of our guys jumps in and trys to correct it. Another IM..can you look at this account for me?

Crap, the Escrow Reconciliation for another client was due yesterday. Put call on mute while I print what I need, update it, send it. More e-mails are piling up.

Reports for another client pop-up. Take a look at them, fix the formatting and send them on. Then comes the e-mail....don't send those reports...we may have an issue. Hmm...you're a little late on that.

Finally, the call is over. Oh thank you, God!!

Finish the check refunds. Plow through e-mails. Read, respond. What is this?? Is everyone smoking crack?

Listen to voicemails. I can ignore all of them.

Review the invoices...send e-mail to accounting about revenue being assigned to the wrong location.

Oh yeah, have to do one thing from the wedding list. Call the jewelry store. Did you find out if the manufacturer of my ring makes a matching band? Why they wouldn't is beyond me. I can tell that the idiot never checked into it. Why am I not surprised...it's only been two months since we were in the store asking...she looked at my ring and said she'd never seen anything like it? Really? It came from this store...you sold it to him! She'll follow-up and get right back to me. Uh, huh, not holding my breath.

More e-mails, more reports, more phone calls. The mail comes, more work for billing. Not like we're not always a week behind.

Run to PetSmart...the pet store that has everything that you need....except for the "bed steps" that I happen to need. Great...lovely waste of time.

Access the on-line inquiries, work on them, work on them, work on them, work on them. More instant messages...can I see if these accounts have valid refunds. Yes, but they did it wrong, no and no. Please follow-up with the appropriate supervisors and ask them if their people actually passed their training certification tests.

Another voicemail...can I send an application to open a merchant account? Send snappy e-mail....No, we don't do this. How many times do I have to tell this guy that we don't do this? Does he speak English and only understand Swahili?

Various other requests, email, issues, problems...yadda, yadda, yadda.....

It's raining...actually it's pouring. I'd pray that the power would go out, but we would also need a lightening strike to take out the generator.

Instant Message...the phone ringing is me, please pick up. Okay, Okay. Where do you find the file...okay, go here and then here and then here...yeah, see that folder...open it...lots of files for you to play with. I know, I know.......I asked a number of times, but they won't commit to programming...we'll buy what we want and then they'll have to work with it.

E-mail from accounting confirming my earlier e-mail that revenue was assigned to the wrong location. Yes, but can we fix it?

Okay, I am now officially 4 days behind...but I'm leaving. I've got to go the grocery store. My staff worries that this is a bad idea...something about seeing me on the eleven o'clock news and not having bail money.

Driving...people are idiots. If you're going to turn, get into the turning lane...that is why it's there. Don't stop in this lane and then cut across the turn lane. The light is green....that means you can go. Yes, people, it looks like it might rain...that doesn't mean that you have to drive like it actually is raining.

Grocery store...okay, they still don't have this new thing for which I have a coupon. My luck, it will be available one day after my coupon expires. Okay, backtrack because I forgot something an aisle over...now two aisles over. Head for the self checkout. What's this.....a nice kid...yes, it would be lovely if you'd go ahead and scan all those 12 packs of soda while they're in the cart. Oh and you're going to put the paper towels and toilet paper down there to and help me out. Little did I know that only moments later, the house of cards would come undone all over the parking lot from bad stacking....in the pouring rain. Okay, it is really raining, hard. Getting soaked...drenched.....really soaked. Finally, all the groceries slung into the back of the bubaru....slam the cart into the cart holder.....jump into the car. Man, I am really, really soaked.

And you know what, only in hell would this be funny!

Sorrow

2006-05-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

In the secret place,
we keep hidden
those things dark
and unkempt,
those bits of madness
that uncoil and claw
in the deep of the night,
the midnight of dreams,
the beast, black of heart,
blank of soul,
born of the unpurged,
burning sorrow
fueled by the private
anguish in which we burn.

I Miss Opus

2006-05-31T16:09:00.000-05:00

I do...I really, really do! Bloom County was one of my all time favorites and I was so sad when it came time to say goodbye! The follow-up, Outland, just wasn't the same and couldn't really fill the space left by Bloom County! Opus was my favorite of the gang, although they all had their charm! Here's a bit of nostalgia while I "Wish for Wings that Work"!

The Hot Button: Conscientious Objection

2006-05-29T13:08:00.000-05:00

I realize that I am fortunate to be an American. Given the various types of governments out there and the conditions that many people are forced to live in, I know that living in America is a blessing. But despite the fact that our government may be better than others out there, it is far from perfect.

I am reminded of a political sciene class that I took in college. The professor was very excited about political science and I, well, wasn't. My natural tendancy to be a little "challenging" and his natural tendancy to be a mark was a bad combination. I recall one day in class when he became very frustrated with me and asked "What would you say if I said that you were completely apathetic?" I simply shrugged and said, "I don't care." The look on his face was priceless, but really, he should have seen it coming. About a 1/3 of our grade was based on our final project. He beamed when I turned it in and said, "Now, that doesn't look like the project of someone who is apathetic!" To which I replied, "Nope, it's the project of an anarchist." He really did make it a bit too easy to mess with him. I think that I still have that project, buried in a box in my mother's basement, along with his comments about how "disturbing" my project was and how painful it was to give me an A. I shared it with my advisor who seemed unsurprised and simply wanted to know what I had done to the poor man.

One of the items that served as inspiration for my project was a picture I found in a magazine (maybe Omni...) in which a dark, disfigured puppeteer was master of a beautiful dove. In my "analysis" of the picture, the dark figure became the government and the white dove the American people with the question of who was really in charge and did that for, by and of the people still really hold true? Or has the government really become more interested in self-preservation than serving the people? The Critical Perspective in Sociology holds that all things can be traced to those in power (i.e. the government) and that in the interest of preserving themselves they will create issues and situations that cause the people to become more interested in fighting amongst themselves than paying attention to the what the government is doing.

We can ill afford to become complacent, to simply accept that the government will act in our best interests. We can not have blind faith that they will define what is in our best interests in the same way that we would. I think that our government has committed a significant number of sins that should give us concern and reason to make sure that we keep our eyes on what they do:

1932 The Tuskegee Syphilis Study begins. 200 black men diagnosed with syphilis are never told of their illness, are denied treatment, and instead are used as human guinea pigs in order to follow the progression and symptoms of the disease. They all subsequently die from syphilis, their families never told that they could have been treated.

1942 Chemical Warfare Services begins mustard gas experiments on approximately 4,000 servicemen.

1944 U.S. Navy uses human subjects to test gas masks and clothing. Individuals were locked in a gas chamber and exposed to mustard gas and lewisite.

1965 Prisoners at the Holmesburg State Prison in Philadelphia are subjected to dioxin, the highly toxic chemical component of Agent Orange used in Viet Nam. The men are later studied for development of cancer, which indicates that Agent Orange had been a suspected carcinogen all along.

1996 Department of Defense admits that Desert Storm soldiers were exposed to chemical agents.

For other incidents, please visit: http://www.umedia.com/MediaMike/GovAtrocities.html

For all the things we that we know that our government has done, how many more are there that we don't know about?

I am offended by the notion, that I've heard from time to time, that we owe support and allegiance to our government, seemingly regardless of what that they do. This fails to acknowledge that it is OUR government and they owe their support and allegiance to us. And if they fail, we the people are charged with the right, perhaps the obligation, to make the changes necessary to ensure that the government is operating on our behalf and not its own. When we turn a blind eye, when we refuse to see, we become complicit by virtue of our inaction. And as an American, I am free to right this (although it might put be on some government watch list as a possible dissedent).

To view the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution or other relevant documents, please visit: http://www.archives.gov/national-archives-experience/charters/constitution.html

Who Are You?

2006-05-29T10:45:00.000-05:00

So which one of these basic 4 Farside personality types represents you?

The Spring

2006-05-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

I am the spring,
the reborn child of
endless promise,
the dawn,
the beginning,
the burning fire
of passion,
free and wild,
the bloom,
the delicate,
unfolding possibility;
upon the wind of
endless days,
a heart unburdened,
unbroken and unbound,
a life untamed of
limitless chance.

Solitude

2006-05-26T20:49:00.000-05:00

When I come to this place of quiet,
of blessed solitude,
to the universe I bare my soul,
and carried upon the stars,
I can see forever,
the infinite promise,
the never ending horizon,
all that ever can be;
I come into the calm,
the center of the storm,
dwell in peace,
a silent witness,
to the beauty unfolding
within by being,
that which is me,
seamless with eternity.

The Winter

2006-05-25T21:09:00.000-05:00

I am the winter,

the lonely child of

harbored resent,

the unwanted

remains of a

broken life,

the cold ashes

of a life spent,

spread upon

the wind, the

wasted promise

of days slipped by,

drowned in all

the bitter, broken

dreams, of life

lived too quiet.

The Hot Button: Immigration

2006-05-25T19:00:00.000-05:00

I admit that when it comes to the subject of immigration, I have some mixed and contradictory feelings and thoughts. I think this comes from the fact that with the exception of one great grandmother (who was a full blooded Cherokee Indian) my ancestors weren't as they say "from around here". They came from a variety of other countries (Scotland, England, Ireland, etc) so to oppose immigration can seem somewhat, well, hypocritical. But here are some of my (sometimes random) thoughts on the subject, in no particular order and not necessarily applicable to every instance of immigration.

1) When my ancestors came to America, there wasn't any concern that they had a backpack with a nuclear devise, chemical weapon or biological agent. The world was a radically different place than it is today. There are concerns & dangers that simply didn't exist back then.
2) They (my ancerstors) didn't come here simply to have a child that would be taken care of by the welfare system. When they came over, there wasn't even a welfare system. At the same time I acknowledge that the parental drive to provide for one's offspring would be a motivating factor in trying to get some place where your child could get an education, food and health care.
3) If you're going to move here, learn ENGLISH. Last time I checked, that is the language that we speak here. I used to work taking inbound customer service calls for a skin care product that was sent to thousands of customers every 60 or 90 days. We only shipped to the US and Canada. So it was infuriating when customers who had been receiving this product automatically for YEARS (meaning that they had lived in America for YEARS) didn't speak English or spoke it extremely poorly and would get angry that we didn't offer customer service agents who spoke Spanish, or Japanese, or Chinese, or (insert language of choice here). They would get extremely pissed off, angry and abusive and trust me on this.....you may not understand the words, but you can tell when you're getting cussed out regardless of the language. I'm reminded of the Tom Selleck movie, Mr. Baseball, where he gets sent to Japan to play. He's been there for a while when he ends up at the Chief's (Manager's) house and discovers that the guy speaks English. When Tom Selleck asks him why he didn't speak English at the field instead of making him use a translator, the Chief points out---this is my country, it is your responsibility to learn my language. And this isn't to say that you should forget how to speak your native language or abandon your heritage, but you chose to move here, so learn the language.
4) If you want to move here, do it legally. And yes, I understand that there aren't enough spots for everyone who wants to come here, but that doesn't mean you should just come on over and make yourself at home. On the other hand, I have sympathy for those who live in oppressive and impoverished condition and can undertstand the desire to try to get someone where you and yours have a chance to live a decent life. But I do worry that there is a limit to the number of people that we can support. What happens to the quality of life when the tipping point is reached? We already have serious issues in this country that go unaddressed because there simply aren't enough resources. At some point, the entire system and economy will collapse under the presssure.
5) Jobs. Some argue that immigrants, particuarly those who are here illegally, are only doing jobs that Americans don't or won't do anyway. I am first to admit that as a general rule, Americans are spoiled, but is it really as simple as that statement implies. Could it not also be argued that illegal immigrants are willing to do the job for less than Americans who have already achieved a higher quality of living and have the related bills, can simple afford to work for. A professor I had talked about how this happened in Hilton Head. Landscaping jobs were primarily the domain of African Americans in Hilton Head until the influx of Mexicans occurred. They were willing to do the jobs for less than the current rate and ended up taking over the landscaping business. Their willingness to live in conditions that we would consider substandard (but are still a huge improvement over where they came from) made it possible for them to undercut the wages and yes, push Americans out of their jobs. Undoubtedly, there are jobs assumed by immigrants by virtue of the fact that no American wants to do.
6) Don't rewrite the National Anthem. And sing it in English. Don't try to sell me that you're changing it out of respect for Americans. Sorry, not buying it.
7) Have you tried changing your country? I realize that this isn't an easy task and in some cases, it might be impossible. Considering dictators like Hussein, the unarmed masses probably don't really have a chance.
8) I hate that people live in conditions that make poverty in American look like a cake walk. I hate that they live under oppressive dictatorships. And I know that given some of these conditions, risking life and limb to get here is probably a good deal. But I think that there has to be a better way.
9) I'm annoyed by those who do come here illegally and then act entitled to treatment as a citizen and act as if Americans who oppose those are in league with the devil. I can't imagine smuggling myself into another country and then demanding rights as if I were a citizen.

I admit that sometimes I feel rather cold when it comes to the subject of illegal immigration. And then at some point, I feel guilty about it. I have been blessed to not have endured the hardships that drive people to take the risks that they do to get here. Ironic that some people would live life and limb to get here to try for a better life while others would give life and limb for a chance to destroy us. Such are the complexities of the world in which we live. I wish I had a solution, but unfortunately, I don't.

Guilty Pleasure 101 THE SOUL PATROL

2006-05-25T09:46:00.000-05:00

Season Five is now over and the new "American Idol" is the silver fox of the Soul Patrol--Taylor Hicks! I'm not really sure what the future holds for him and if he'll be one with staying power, but I hope that he does because he really is an entertainer!! GO TAYLOR!!

I Can't Even Draw A Straight Line With a Ruler....

2006-05-24T11:56:00.000-05:00

and people can do this with sand!!

http://www.greatervancouverparks.com/HARRISONSandCastles01.html

Fallen

2006-05-23T21:51:00.000-05:00

Fallen,
angels on the battlefield,
blood sacrifice on
the abandoned altar,
consume their souls,
and condemn
to a colder hell,
burned on the pyre
of our disgrace,
for our sins,
the price is paid.

Guilty Pleasure 101 Part Four

2006-05-23T15:48:00.000-05:00

Well, it is the final "performance" night of this season of American Idol. I will be watching and I will be voting repeatedly for Taylor. The only thing better than voting for Taylor is if they would let me have a number where I could take away votes from Katherine! I know that lots of people out there adore her (and it's not like I want her burned alive at the stake or anything) and think she's oh, so sweet, yadda, yadda, yadda. But the girl needs to get some passion, some fire instead of that "gee, golly, I'm so wide eyed and innocent" persona she totes around. She doesn't seem to enjoy it the same way that Taylor does...doesn't pour herself into it...doesn't make it fun and exciting......you know she needs something other than a CD that would be good to cure insomnia!

Cooking for the Soul

2006-05-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure where I got my love of cooking. My mother was a good enough cook, if it was southern. And since she spent her days cooking at an elementary school, she wasn't especially inspired to come home and spend a lot of time in the kitchen experimenting. And she didn't spend time teaching me how to cook either. My sister loves to cook as well, but she moved 3,000 miles away when I was seven so it wasn't her that instilled it in me. But somehow I managed to develop a love of cooking and am apparently good enough to have people "wrangle" invitations to dinner.
There is just something delightful in finding a new recipe to try or coming up with some new creation of my own. A friend from long ago made me swear an oath that I would never tell his Italian mother that my stuffed shells were better than hers. Something pleasing in the myriad of smells (okay--usually pleasing) from a busy kitchen. For me, it can be therapy (and a lot less expensive than a shrink!). It can be a little mad scientist at times and I'm a horribly messy cook, but as long as the results turn out right, who cares? After all, if I cook...someone else can clean!

Here is one of my favorite recipes that a Regional Manager cooked up at our annual manager's meeting (the good one at the Beach House before the company got cheap) with a little variation of my own:

Frogmoor Stew

3 medium/large baking potatoes (peeled and cubed)
16 oz Kielbasa cut into 1/4" to 1/2" pieces
12 oz Andouille cut into 1/4" pieces (this was not part of the original recipe, but I find it a tasty addition.)
8-12 frozen corn on the cob halves
16 oz shrimp (peeled and deveined...perfectly acceptable to cheat and buy the frozen that are already peeled and deveined)
1-2 packets crab boil (2 if you like it spicer)

In a large stock pot, place the crab boil packets along with potatoes and fill about 1/2 full of water. Cover, bring to a boil, then reduce hit and cook until potatoes are 1/2 tender.

Add the kielbase and andouille and cook for 5 minutes at a slow boil

Add the corn and cook for 5 mintues at a slow boil.

Add the shrimp and cook 3-4 minutes or until shrimp are cooked through.

Remove the crab boil and spoon into big bowls and enjoy!!

Whole

2006-05-20T16:11:00.000-05:00

Lay open my soul, battered and bruised,

tear open my heart, see me undone;

careless the travelers who visited here,

into pieces, careless disregard,

my tears unheeded, feel me shaking,

sifting through the bits that remain;

a faithless dream, a dark confession,

never again will whole I be.